Are Indian teenagers sexually frustrated?

by **Arch** » Mon Jun 23, 2003 2:17 pm

hope it was of help someways, sunny. and i do c that u seem to have understood some of the stuff and yet be cool. good. so, lets talk abt\' whatever u wanna know. lets talk simple and plain, k? and i will try to speak out my thots. let the others join in whereever they feel that can give some in put from their point of view.. so, Shoot.

by **sunny** » Mon Jun 23, 2003 11:35 pm

hey good going Arch! we\'re cool now. coming 2 the point, i feel every teenager is frustrated in some manner no matter which country he belongs to. we can only make a difference if can find a way to overcome this frustation and get on with our lives. and to do that we need to free our minds - not like in the movie \"The Matrix\", but spiritually - so that we don\'t have any filthy thoughts. and to do that there are many ways - one being to concentrate on our work and dedicating ourselves to it so that our mind is pre-occupied and there\'s no scope for filth. okay, it doesn\'t mean we gotta become \'Paramahamsas\' or something, \'cos sex is part of life, but we mustn\'t live 4 sex. that\'s what i felt. (sorry 4 being so philosophical - i don\'t know what\'s gone into my head) although i am a christian, i know some stuff about hinduism where i was taught in school that a successful man has control over his body, mind & soul... BTW, I studied in PuttaParthi Swami\'s (Sai Baba) school... anyone from Parthi man???

by **pal** » Tue Jun 24, 2003 1:34 am

Are you equating sex with filth???

by **Anil** » Tue Jun 24, 2003 5:28 am

Sunny! Your last posting, wow! What was that! Christianity, Paramahamsa, Puttaparthi! On one hand you want \"more of it\" (or a lot of \"it\") and on the other hand you ended up associating \"it\" with an act of excrement. Pure, filthy, Parmahamsa, Christianity, Hinduism - NO, just using these words doesn\'t make you philosophical (as you were proclaiming, amusingly).

by **sunny** » Tue Jun 24, 2003 8:02 am

Ok pal, I\'ll be more transparent. I\'m not equating sex with filth. I meant stuff relating to sex like masturbation. See, you can\'t go on without doing it for the fact that you are freeing your mind \'cos it can lead to hormonal imbalance. I was suggesting a limit to these sort of thoughts which can apparently minimize frustration. I guess you are not getting me here man - just think. And Anil, I was trying to give ways of reducing stress, frustration... and in the process went into saying all this stuff. Well, yesterday I was on booze... whether I am being phillo or not is not the point. All that matters is whether I can convey my msg or not.

by **Anil** » Tue Jun 24, 2003 8:49 am

I don\'t get you at all. From where on earth did you get the thought that masturbation is filth? Masturbation is the safest sex and probably the best remedy for all \"sexually frustrated youth\". And it is perfectly normal. There has to be some outlet for all the secretions produced in the body. If one doesn\'t indulge in masturbation or any other sexual practice, the body would find its own way of \"expelling\" the secretions (as \"wet dreams\"). The misconceptions associated with it like you lose hair, you go blind or you become \"weak\" or it is sin are totally baseless. Let me clear your other misconception that not having sex would result in hormonal imbalance. NO, absolutely not. It might cause in an indirect way (constant thinking, stress, etc., etc.). You are 21, you admit to boozing and seem to be sexually depraved - hmm not good signs buddy - get a hobby! You are normal but the problem with you seems to be you are not able to channelize your bursting energies in a proper way. I am not trying to be a big brother here but please think it over.

by **sunny** » Tue Jun 24, 2003 10:23 am

You are right, Anil, masturbation is the safest sex. But what happens when there\'s too much of it?? I know sexologists suggest it\'s okay for however many times. But look at all the energy that is lost. Tell me one thing man, once you\'ve masturbated, won\'t you do it again??? And again??? There\'s no end man! What I was trying to suggest is a limit for the number of times. And when I meant hormonal imbalance, it was for masturbation, not sex. And why the \"filth\" part? I\'ll tell you why. If you read the Bible you\'ll find in it that thinking about other women in a bad sense is adultery... And my friend, what is the key to success during masturbation??? Thinking about other women! Well, it\'s not a crime technically, but spiritually don\'t ya think it is??? Aw, right, I maybe a little hypocritical here u know, after all the discussion is about sex - me talking about God and stuff is cockamamie. But hey! Just trying to justify the \"filth\" part. okay... now comes the critical part, you can\'t stay away from masturbation - think it is adultery as we gotta expel the secretions like u said?? So at the end of the day masturbation is a must, but the number of times is something that has to be contemplated upon; ...\'cos too much of it is too much thinking about it, and it\'s not a good sign, and that\'s what leads 2 frustration. At least that\'s what I feel.

by **Cliffhanger** » Tue Jun 24, 2003 8:09 pm

Hi Sunny,
You are right.. Actully in western countries, people stay together without marrying.. They avoid kids.... So the population is not much in their country.. They don\'t even think about the sex like us.. If they like each other they stay together ..they have sex .. fun.. and they depart if they don\'t like.. and they choose some one else...
So there is no frustration about the sex... and you no need to marry any girl to just to have sex.. But in india.. people have to mary to just have a sex... Many people here not even touched/kissed a girl before marriage...

If you think from the biological point of view.. having sex before marriage is not a discussing point..

When he/she is matured, they can have sex..
But the point is how people are going to think about this sexual intercourse... We have made very restrictions on this sexual activity... In most of the countries, having sex before marriage is totally legal and they DON\'T WASTE TIME in discussing about this.. This is a part of their life..
It is like as soon as we wake up in the morning we brush our teeth!!

Medically it is proved that sexual intercourse keeps the mind in good state, helthy....

I don\'t know why our country is lagging behind in this..

People dream about the sex in the night.. it is the natural phenoemnon and we are killing this by imposing restrictions lik culture, traditions.....

we should think broadly... we should think how it is going to affect out country...

by **sunny** » Tue Jun 24, 2003 10:58 pm

firstly Cliffhanger ... U R THE MAN !!!! out of all these disclaimers u have made some serious sense. what u said is the reality. if u read these fellas posts u\'ll find that they r asking me not to compare India with the west. ok then who should we compare India to ??? Afgan\' or Pak\' or Indonesia ??? and brag??? anyways it\'s notabout countries.. it\'s about teen in India.. and my friend what u said I totally agree with... thanx a bunch......... ciao

by **Atul** » Wed Jun 25, 2003 1:34 am

hey sunny, it looks like u found company. i have read all the mails u wrote and their responses. it looked in between like u have totally changed and have started to believe contrary to what u started with and finally when u found someone who supports u, u swung back to your previous believes. but let me share my exp with u, i live in US and have traveled a lot in buses, and got chance to interact with people from various backgrounds. what i found is, they are all frustrated like hell, not because they are deprived of sex, but because they have no one to trust on. people get married so that u have a person on whome u can trust, on whome u can rely on and for a person who respects u by all means. though they have wifes, they cant trust them, cause they also have boy friends. they fear that once they run out of money, they might be ditched by their wifes. The availability of \'free sex\' has adulterated the entire society in US. people here are craving for some kind of spiritual outlet. now look at India. they are all content, though they long for basic comforts, they r happy. so u just cant compare India with any other country. we are very thankful to our ancestors for imbibing these priceless values in us. hope sunny! u think with your heart while dealing with such issues and then take your stand.

by **Arch** » Wed Jun 25, 2003 9:39 am

Aptly observed, Atul, abt\' Sunny. He claims to be 21 but is acting like a totally confused 14 yr old, at times, hopefully, at times. \'My\' general observations on having sex at an early age w/ multiple partners/gf/bf: negative aspects- 1)posssibilty of getting various sexual diseases,including AIDS, inspite of using condoms 2) possibility of getting pregnant way before either of them are ready both physically and emotionally for a commited relationship to take care of the baby and the spouse/gf/bf 3) If not planning to have the baby, then one goes for an abortion, in turn becoming a baby-killer and the after effects of the abortion itself again both physical and emotional 4) the repercussions of the sexual relationship with various people before marriage on ones own family of siblings, and that of the extended family and on the society. 5) Lack of stablity, security, mutual trust, comfort, sense of responsibilty on the long run to be able to protect and nurture the family, the sensitivity ( pahela pahela pyar type of sensitivity) twds each other, in developing a relationship with ones\' spouse later when they are ready to commit and get married and........

plus points: lack of frustration in teens since there is sexual release, feels more confident during the growing period ( could be false), getting to know the man/woman you may/ have to get married to, .. and.. lets add to either of the lists as and when it occurs to any of us..

by **Anil** » Thu Jun 26, 2003 5:01 am

Oh Sunny! Sunny! Sunny! I am on the verge of giving it up. I tried my best to understand what you were trying to say but hmmm... NO, you are either really unfathomable or just plain naive. I was flabbergasted at your contradictory stance. On one hand, you say fantasizing about others is sin but at the same time you advocate \"free-sex\" and even go to the extent of advertising for \"mail-friends\" who are willing to kiss you!!!???? Anyway let me try one last time to reason out with you. Thinking about woman/man or admiring beauty is not a sin. It’s a sin only when you are desperate to \"possess\" it. All normal sane persons know where to draw the line. For e.g., a married man (or everyone) admires the beauty of Aishwarya Rai. That doesn\'t mean he is committing a sin. He may not even be lusting for her or he might be fantasizing about her. All are absolutely normal. The problem comes only when he tries to live these fantasies with the person he is fantasizing irrespective of whether the person is willing or not. That\'s where he crosses the line. (Pardon my sexist language, but it’s too tedious to write everything in a neutral gender. By “he”, I meant he or she). And let me clear some more misapprehensions you have about a \"simple\" practice which almost everyone indulges or has indulged in past. You DON\'T lose any energy nor does it cause hormonal imbalance. Again, one has to know where to draw the line. If one is just living for \"that\", then he/she really needs some professional help. And during the \"practice\" if you are fantasizing about someone, it’s not a sin. Another example, let\'s take hunger. That can be satiated by any edible food. But we still treat ourselves with all sorts of food. And what do we do if we don\'t get all varieties, we either reconcile to whatever we have or \"imagine\" that we are having all the delicacies in spite of having the pretty normal regular stuff. You may say we are cheating ourselves. But then, do we have a choice?? Please come to terms that any sexual act is a normal physiological process (just like hunger or thirst) and there is NOTHING FILTHY. The only difference is this act has to be indulged in a responsible way because of societal norms, morals, etc., etc. In fact, that\'s what differentiates us from animals. We just can\'t go about pairing with anyone and procreating. The societal norms vary from culture to culture and that\'s where the much hackneyed EAST-WEST divide comes into picture. And Cliffhanger, the westerners do not \"avoid kids\" because they are worried about their country\'s population. It’s because they wait for certain stability so that they can really support the family. Or simply, they don\'t want to get into the \"hassles\". What pains me is we always look towards the West to ape the practices which they themselves have admitted as \"not right\" and are trying desperately for corrective measures. For heaven\'s sake let\'s come out of this notion (Hollywood movies have to be blamed for this) that the West has no moral fabric and anyone can \"sleep\" with anyone. Believe me, ITS NOT AT ALL LIKE THAT. Yes, the west might look to be sexually promiscuous. But, whatever (pre-marital, post-marital or extra-marital) be the nature of sexual act, it’s done in relatively more \"responsible\" way than in India. That\'s one of the reasons why the incidence of AIDS is more in India/Africa than USA in spite of all the taboos and morals and strict social fabric. Unfortunately, India is not in a stage to handle a \"free-society\" yet. Sunny, why not change your topic into a more constructive way - making everyone especially teenagers sexually aware (not in your sense

of course). Especially after seeing your postings and your misconceptions about some normal innocuous practice, I feel, there is indeed an urgent pressing need for youth to be really educated with matters concerning one of the basal instincts.

by **sushim** » Thu Jun 26, 2003 6:09 am

hey sunny, what will happen if any females from your family say the same thing? will u accept that? man, copy good things, not bad things.

by **sunny** » Thu Jun 26, 2003 8:23 am

Hi Anil…. I’m not unfathomable. U r missing the grand design here. If u consider the chatting experience of Indians u’ll really be embarrassed , guess what no ones’ interested
in chatting with someone from India and u kno why ? cos they feel Indians r sexually abusive. And I am not saying this my friend , it has be proved. Research has also proved that Indian teens r sexually frustrated. That is the reason why I put up this board. Just wanted to find out the apogee of this issue. No matter what u argue, bottom line is they r (or we r) frustrated. So get real buddy face the fact. And coming to fantasies, what I meant to say was a normal (not frustrated) person would do it a limited number of times whereas a frustrated person would consider doing it till he is literally frustrated. I am not saying this for the sake of saying it… I have enquired about this with several of my friends about this and this is what I inferred from their sayings… (don’t go into thinking that all of them r a bunch of losers pls). by the way u said that the westerners play “Responsible” …. Trust me these days Indians can too. But whos’ getting a chance to??? I not being a worry wart or a weenie here but just bring out this issue into the open.. so get real man… wake up and smell the coffee !!!!!!!!
PS: thanx 4 the long post.

by **Ramesh.** » Sat Jun 28, 2003 11:07 pm

I think its time India moves forward as a whole. In cities like Bombay or Delhi, the freeness is visible. Teenagers can b seen moving freely compared to those in our city(Hyd). There, sex is not seen as taboo. Of course they r not as forward as NY or CA. But the difference is clearly visible. I think Hyderabadis needs to take the initiative n come out of the \"sex is taboo\" mindset. Its just a normal thing. And if u think u r matured enough to handle the complexities of sex, u can go for it. No need to wait for marriage. And I mean this for both boys n girls; not just for boys. Time to move on.

by **sunny** » Sun Jul 06, 2003 10:03 am

How many of you have seen the show called The Amazing Race - India on AXN? The show really sucked man. I was really ashamed about my country, viz India. You know, in the trains in Mumbai that foreign girl was molested like hell. There were people grabbing her boobs, pinching her, squashing her etc. What a disgraced nation man! I am sure she would have generalized this sort of demeanor to the entire nation. She was literally yelling \"Someone\'s grabbed my boob!\"; \"Why are these people pinching me\"... I don\’t know about you guys but I was really embarrassed man! They were really disgusted! One of the girls even said, \"This is living hell! I\'ll never be here again in my life!\" It\'s horrible… Next Sunday they are gonna race in south India, I\'m sure the south is gonna be good. I don\'t know what Mr. Anil has to say about this (buddy maybe u don\'t this channel in the USA, but you can confirm it with your Indian friends). I\'m really waiting for replies to this issue…

by **krishna** » Sun Jul 06, 2003 1:51 pm

No man, Indians too are learning by seeing the Net etc.

by **Anil** » Sun Jul 06, 2003 6:13 pm

Before commenting on the television show (I must admit I didn\'t see that because I have no access to AXN. In any case, I am not big fan of these reality shows) I would like to bring to your notice an incident which happened in New York in broad daylight. Everything was recorded and it wasn\'t part of any \"show\" (I always have doubts about the \"reality\" of the reality shows! Lots are stage-managed). During a National Puerto Rican Day Parade on June 11, 2000, 47 women (ages from 14 to 40) were stripped and groped and robbed by gangs of young men in Central Park, IN BROAD DAYLIGHT. The Police were right there, looking away. This incident is a classic case of a milestone in the downward spiral of what might once have been called The American Civilization. There is no other way to look at the ease with which masses of milling, young men, as nonchalant as they were brazen, attacked, stripped and violated as many as 50 women. 1. None of these guys, I am sure, were \"sexually frustrated\" since in America, they \"get it all the time\" and a \"lot too\". 2. If all sexually frustrated youth in India start doing these pervert acts, then every single person of the fair sex in India would have been subjected to molestation at least once by now (with India having the highest percentage of youth below 25 years). 3. What has reportedly happened in the incident you mentioned are acts of perversion - there cannot be any justification for that, least of all, citing sexual frustration. 5. Let me be very clear. I am not justifying the incident you mentioned nor I am trying to say that these things are normal and happen everywhere. But, as a responsible citizen, try to contain the damage done by such incidents and think or suggest ways these can be curtailed. Don\'t go over the roof, saying, \"what a disgraced nation\" we are - Let\'s leave that part to the media in West and our archrivals in the neighboring country - they are very adept highlighting these. The point is let’s not equate acts of crime and perversions as misdemeanors of sexually frustrated youth. 4. OK, a very straight forward and simple question - you have admitted that you are sexually frustrated. Now, if you find a lady alone, will you take advantage of her?

by **mrk** » Mon Jul 07, 2003 11:31 am

Sunny, I too was just like you upto 20 years. But when I was studying my degree IIIrd year, my parents married me to my uncle\'s daughter. Then started my sex life. But when she went for her first delivery to her parents house, I was unable to control myself. So I had contact with three more. In India it starts slowly, I agree with you. But after starting that activity we cannot control ourselves and we will be in search of more and more.

by **sunny** » Tue Jul 08, 2003 9:10 am

Anil u r right, all these reality shows r more or less stage-managed. but the one i was reffering to was more like a race the reality part being a seconary. ok coming 2 the point, i\'d like to qoute some incients -
1. A girl was raped on a moving train (in BROAD DAYLIGHT)in Mumbai. think about the number of commuters on an avg\' Mumbai train.. but the sadest part was no one did anything to prevent it..i\'m sure it would have been different in the south.(what say u?)
2. A girl from the Delhi Uni\' was gang raped and after a couple of days the same girl was gang raped again.
and many more such incidents. iknow things like these happen more than often in the USof A but i\'m worried that such things r happening in India where women r respected and treated good ( virtually ).
yeah, i\'ve heard stuff like that happen in central park..... and that\'s a disgrace too.. cos they get so many tourists. one thing i\'m pretty compromised is that.... molestation in India is tolerable to some extent unlike in USA where it\'s damn harsh (that\'s what i feel, tell me it\'s true).... ........................................................................
.......................................................... ok the answer to ur question is NO. but hey if the lady permits then i\'d think over. when i said free sex, i meant on both of their complience.

by **Anil** » Wed Jul 09, 2003 7:44 am

Now, you are totally deviating from the topic. I still maintain that sexual frustrations, especially of youth, need not necessarily lead to crimes of sexual nature. Yes, they are one of principal causes for pedophelia. But, then most of these perpetrators, fortunately, are not youth! The incidents you are quoting (the Bombay/Delhi) are a disgrace to the humanity itself. They are simply acts of depravity. And what exactly do you mean by saying \"molestation in India is tolerable to some extent unlike in USA where it\'s damn harsh\". Are you referring to the punishment or the moral implications? BTW, the AXN show you mentioned does come here (on CBS). Luckily, its not a very popular show here.

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