HQ - Humane Quotient

[gods_gift2_mankind]

I am extremely upset at the moment. And questions that have always been in my head have now resurfaced. I find myself asking this everytime. How humane am I? How humane are we? How capable am I of a random act of selflesness? Will I ever go completely out of my way to help a stranger? And if yes, will I shut up about it or tom-tom it around to the whole world. "Never let your right hand know the acts of kindness that your left hand does". This is something that I'd learnt at the primary level in school. Sounds silly, but holds value.



The reason why I'm so bent as of now is this:



I was on my way to drop my brother off at the bus station. We were getting late. I stopped for some work, and saw this beggar lying in the sand with a baby next to her. The baby was barely a few months old. The woman, at first sight, looked like she was dead. But then I realized that she was just semi-unconscious. I sat down next to her, helped her sit up and asked her what was wrong. She was hungry. My brother went to fetch her some food, while I scurried around for water. People just kept gathering around without moving a muscle. That enraged me. I told someone to scram instead of gawking.



There was a small trickle of blood running down her mouth. I panicked. Didn't know what to do. Helped her drink the water. Gave her the food and had to leave because my bro wud miss his bus. I could do nothing for the woman. There was a crowd of 10 people atleast and they just stood there staring. She probably needed medical help. I felt so incapable. I felt myself falling short on all counts. Even as I write this, a feeling of dread looms over me. And strangely, I feel ridiculous.



And when I look around me I find most people becoming so cynical and selfish and withdrawn. me included. I don't know what can be done about this. The memory of the woman has already faded. I'm not as upset as I was when I started writing this. By tomorrow morning it would have worsened. I will retrieve into my world, and continue being me. Until another souls tirring incident comes along...



I don't have clear cut questions to write down.

Why I'm posting this here, I don't know. I'm probably looking for some reassurances to restore whatever faith I have left - in me and humanity as a whole.

[JustaLittleUnwell]

Just thinking as I'm typing...... dunno if the woman can be located where u saw her last. Maybe she needs to be hospitalized or at least checked up medically. Was she deteriorating? The situation sounds bad, esp. since there's a dependent kid around.

[Johnny]

Hey GG2M, that was a sad incident. I know how awful it makes one feel. You have tried ur best to help that woman in need, u need not feel bad about urself. But the HQ in the 'aam junta', is quite alarming. Even i myself have faced such situations. I felt like shouting at all of 'em, "wtf are u ppl just staring". Cant u help?



Well sometimes i am forced to think that, the 'so-called' helpful ppl, more often than not, help only if its a person with some social status that needs help. They dont really care about the more unfortunate class, that of beggers or the footpath dwellers etc..



GG2M, just imagine if that begger woman was replaced with a middle class female and her baby? I am sure many of the ppl would have helped.

There is also some kind of social stigma attached in helping the poor people, mad people, dirty people etc... Why dont they realise that they too are humans.

Anyways, My bottm line to u would be, You have tried to do ur best. You surely wud feel guilty for not seeing the woman till she was safe, but lets hope someone else like you, who has no other impotant work spotted her and rescued her.

[Jaszalcatraz]

Let me be brutally honest here. I realized, after a fair bit of introspection, that if I was in your position GG2m, I wouldnt have helped her at all. I would have felt sorry though. but only for the baby. And feeling sorry never helped anybody.

Now the question I ask myself is how have I become so unsensitive.

After another round of introspection, here comes my first reason.

(Sorry if I get the circumstances wrong) I wouldnt help her because I think the state she is in was not an accident. There must have been something that she did worng to end up like that. Probably a drunk husband, or she herself boozed, or she picked up a fight with someone else. I wouldnt help her because that would mean that I'm condoning her actions.

[Happy Hyderabadi]

I would have felt sorry ... only for the baby. And feeling sorry never helped anybody.
Now the question I ask myself is how have I become so unsensitive.
...

Dehumanised ...

Perhaps, we have been Dehumanised ..., if not yet become inhuman. The Synthetic Bombardment in the Media, the Movies and the TV, to Violence, Malevolence, Misfortune and Misdirection, have done their bit. It is only when we ourselves are at a disadvantage, the Realisation comes:



Nahin koyi hai is jag mein, jo girte ko uthha deve



Yet the Prayer goes:

Mere swami, mere malik, mujhe apna bana lena



In this Context, Ms GG2MK and her Brother are Blessed People for Whatever Help They Gave to the Stricken Woman and her Child. May their Tribe Increase!

[black wizard]

jasz, u sound really pathetic. u wouldnt help her because she might have done something wrong? since when did all of us get the right of judging people? ur post really pissed me off dude...i didnt expect this from u.

true, we all have become a little insensitive towards others.

it is true that i do not remember when i went out of my way to help someone else, but cant we stop and thing for a minute as to why we have bcome so insensitive, self-centred and so bloody ignorant?

its like we're stuck in the middle class circle, not willing to know what is happening to those who are a little less fortunate. all we care about is ourselves.

and giftie, u did whatever u could. thinking about it only makes it worse. at least u did help her while the other

human beans just looked on. dont be too hard on yourself. u did a very sweet thing by helping her.

[gods_gift2_mankind]

Ok,

last night has not faded from my memory.



What ticked me off further was that there were educated people walking around with blinkers the size of Mt Everest on their faces.



When i returned the woman n the baby were not around. I only hope she got the help she needed.



This also reminds of an incident -

I was barely year old. We weren't living in Hyd at the time and my dad used to come down here for business -

he met with some kind of a freak accident while he was travelling. He never knew what happened. He was missing for a good 3 days and my mom had no clue about this since she was in another city - this is when the world wasn't very well connected.



He was found in Gandhi Hospital unidentified lying in a coma. If it wasn't for the kindness of some stranger at the time, my dad wouldn't have lived for as long as he did.



Im again at a loss for words.

[gods_gift2_mankind]

Well sometimes i am forced to think that, the 'so-called' helpful ppl, more often than not, help only if its a person with some social status that needs help. They dont really care about the more unfortunate class, that of beggers or the footpath dwellers etc..

GG2M, just imagine if that begger woman was replaced with a middle class female and her baby? I am sure many of the ppl would have helped.
There is also some kind of social stigma attached in helping the poor people, mad people, dirty people etc... Why dont they realise that they too are humans.

I agree completely. People wouldn't hesitate one bit before they come forward to help somebody that doesn't belong to the lower strata.



They may be poor, but they are not untouchables! You are not going to get cooties by helping them and touching them

[gods_gift2_mankind]

Let me be brutally honest here. I realized, after a fair bit of introspection, that if I was in your position GG2m, I wouldnt have helped her at all. I would have felt sorry though. but only for the baby. And feeling sorry never helped anybody.
Now the question I ask myself is how have I become so unsensitive.
After another round of introspection, here comes my first reason.
(Sorry if I get the circumstances wrong) I wouldnt help her because I think the state she is in was not an accident. There must have been something that she did worng to end up like that. Probably a drunk husband, or she herself boozed, or she picked up a fight with someone else. I wouldnt help her because that would mean that I'm condoning her actions.

Not surprisingly Jasz, there are a lot of people like u around.

And, [Im not condemning u, im jus using ur example here]

U look to justify ur insensitivity by blaming it on the probable actions and circunmstances of the woman.



This is indeed a very sorry state of affairs. Because you know what is wrong, u know what u can do, u r intelligent enough to discern between helping and pitying, but u do nothing!



U just sit there, wasting a life!

[Portuguese Man-Of-War]

jasz, u wouldnt help her because she might have done something wrong? since when did all of us get the right of judging people? ur post really pissed me off dude...i didnt expect this from u.

Hey, let's not be so caustic. Jasz could have appeared like a saint, yet he chose to say exactly what he would have done. I think we should appreciate the honesty, and try to mildly put across our views if we differ with him or feel that he's being insensitive. And BW, as you yourself said, "since when did all of us get the right of judging people?"

[akhilis2cool]

hey giftie first of all accept my appreciation for trying to help the woman.

scenes of women, men old and young lying helplessly on side walks and placs like tankbund is a common site in India. i myself never could do anything to help them.........



I guess there r a lot of NGOs out there trying to make the lives of such people better.....the best thing we can do is support the NGOs. we single handedly cant change much.

[black wizard]

jasz, u wouldnt help her because she might have done something wrong? since when did all of us get the right of judging people? ur post really pissed me off dude...i didnt expect this from u.

Hey, let's not be so caustic. Jasz could have appeared like a saint, yet he chose to say exactly what he would have done. I think we should appreciate the honesty, and try to mildly put across our views if we differ with him or feel that he's being insensitive. And BW, as you yourself said, "since when did all of us get the right of judging people?"

i didnt judge anyone.

[Jaszalcatraz]

Thanx P man-o-war for that.

Seriously Wizzie, like I said, what I said came outta deep introspection.

TO see if I was in my right mind when I wrote that, I shall introspect again.

Like I said, I would be hellishly sorry for her and would have helped her if I had more money. I know that's another contraversial response where ppl will say that I dont mind spending loads on blank CD's and cigs but spending it to help another human suddenly becomes a burden.

In my defence I would also like to say that I feel more sorry for children.

Also in my defense I would like to say that I donated blood 7 times in the last 3 years and each and every one time it was a poor person. Twice it was a pregnant lady.

Then there was this particular dude who I helped. This story might justify my insensitivity. This dude drank so often and so much that he needed a blood transfusion (dont ask me how and why, that's what the doctor told me). 4 months later, this dude died.........of booze.

What am I supposed to say to that? It was my blood in his veins.

[black wizard]

Thanx P man-o-war for that.
Seriously Wizzie, like I said, what I said came outta deep introspection.
TO see if I was in my right mind when I wrote that, I shall introspect again.
Like I said, I would be hellishly sorry for her and would have helped her if I had more money. I know that's another contraversial response where ppl will say that I dont mind spending loads on blank CD's and cigs but spending it to help another human suddenly becomes a burden.
In my defence I would also like to say that I feel more sorry for children.
Also in my defense I would like to say that I donated blood 7 times in the last 3 years and each and every one time it was a poor person. Twice it was a pregnant lady.
Then there was this particular dude who I helped. This story might justify my insensitivity. This dude drank so often and so much that he needed a blood transfusion (dont ask me how and why, that's what the doctor told me). 4 months later, this dude died.........of booze.
What am I supposed to say to that? It was my blood in his veins.

didnt mean to offend u buddy

accept my apologies.

[gods_gift2_mankind]

Also in my defense I would like to say that I donated blood 7 times in the last 3 years and each and every one time it was a poor person. Twice it was a pregnant lady.
Then there was this particular dude who I helped. This story might justify my insensitivity. This dude drank so often and so much that he needed a blood transfusion (dont ask me how and why, that's what the doctor told me). 4 months later, this dude died.........of booze.
What am I supposed to say to that? It was my blood in his veins.

Ouch, that must've hurt

Ok, point taken!



I wouldn't understand how u feel, cos I feel the exact opposite of what you do now! But I see how you got there.

This is one of the things that I dread - becoming cynical - and that is exactly what is happening. To me as well

[CtrlAltDel]

Cynical is what we are all becoming. the perfect sign of this are the mute spectators when Giftie was doing her best to help the lady.

In 1997, i had faced a similar situation just outside a posh boutique at click tower, secbad. it was abt 5pm and i had come out of the nearby navketan complex. there was this bedraggled guy having an attack of fits on the road just outside this boutique.

everybody on the road passed him after staring for a few seconds. the beautiful people inside the boutique were staring thru the windows with fingertips on their open mouths (classic expression of disgust cum shock).

i ran to him, lifted him up and carried him to safety to a sidewalk infront of the complex. the crowd followed me staring. i left him there, ran inside the complex, borrowed a bottle from a RELUCTANT watchman, filled it with water and rushed back.

by then the fits had subsided and the guy was semi conscious, with the crowd once again staring. I revived him enuf for him to drink the water i got. he looked at me and mumbled "bahut bhook hai saab". i asked someone from the crowd to help him drink water while i fetched some food. at that, the crowd melted away and few who remained withdrew to a distance to watch. the disgust i felt at that time cannot be described. if i had a gun i wud have shot all of those bastards.

i left him there, ran to a cafe nearby, bot buns n tea and rushed back to him. he hungrily wolfed it down and drank all the water. he told me that he was from some village in maharashtra and had come looking for work in the city.

i took him in an auto to my dad's office and convinced him to employ the guy in one of their factories (he is now a foreman in one of the factories).



i shudder to think what wud have hapnd to him in case i was not present there.

[azazel]

*applauds evryone who does a good deed now n then like the ones mentioned*



never been in the kinda situation which warranted this topic.. cant really say how i would've reacted.. i try to help out ppl as much as i can tho..

[Mayavi Morpheus]

There is a reason why ppl help middle class man/woman in trouble and not a poor person. A middleclass woman lying unconcious on road is not a everyday scene. But poor people lying unconcious on road side is a common sight in India as 1 out of every 4 in India is poor/homeless.

Some people help, some dont, but its disgusting to see people crowding and stare as if some tamasha is going and none comes forward to help.

You have done a great thing giftie, so did you ctrl.

[Arch]

Jasz, of all the people who have posted here, you are the only one who tried the most, to help. World is that much richer with the likes of you. thanks for being here

As for turning CYnical ? that's ok. you will outgrow that too, as you did with being very kind.



Initially we are very kind and when we realise that we were taken for rides at times or most often, we bcome cynical.

when we become too cynical we ourselves do not like it. So we learn to balance by being kind and yet careful and give our kindness to those who really deserve.



Its called a cycle and you'll also learn to balance, as time passes.

[Jaszalcatraz]

First of all.....welcome back Arch.

Secondly, thanx for that compliment, it certainly makes me wanna run out and do more good. But I think i'm the worst of the lot here. If I hadnt helped someone else might have, but giftie and Ctrl did what no one else there had done. They had reached out and gone that extra mile to keep the smile on the dial.

I slight deviation from the topic (sorry all).

I believe it is stories such as these that should fill the newspapers and take up media space in today's world. Heart touching stories and good deeds breed more such deeds. It is the media that has made us as cynical as we are.

[Arch]

Thanks for welcoming me back, Jasz. I did not say they did not do. I said u did the most from what I gathered from the posts. they might have done a lot more than what they wrote here.



Giftie and ctrl did not express cynicism as u did, just as I feel too about myself. Giftie is thinking that she might get there ( she seems to be just getting into the field of being a grownup. Welcome Sweetie, into the s'possed big bad world which is actually beauitful when we learn to balance ), whereas ctrl did not sound so.



U did.



I complimented u in recognition of what 'all' u did in the past and may make u remember those feelings n' that may make u get back to being ur kind self and enjoy being it.



I do that with myself when I become cynical and it works with me

[Happy Hyderabadi]

...
In 1997... abt 5pm and i had come out of the nearby navketan complex. there was this bedraggled guy having an attack of fits on the road ...
everybody on the road passed him after staring for a few seconds ...
i ran to him, lifted him up and carried him to safety to a sidewalk infront of the complex. the crowd followed me staring. i left him there, ran inside the complex, borrowed a bottle from a RELUCTANT watchman, filled it with water and rushed back.
by then the fits had subsided and the guy was semi conscious, with the crowd once again staring. I revived him enuf for him to drink the water i got. he looked at me and mumbled "bahut bhook hai saab". i asked someone from the crowd to help him drink water while i fetched some food. at that, the crowd melted away and few who remained withdrew to a distance to watch ... i left him there, ran to a cafe nearby, bot buns n tea and rushed back to him. he hungrily wolfed it down and drank all the water. he told me that he was from some village in maharashtra and had come looking for work in the city.
i took him in an auto to my dad's office and convinced him to employ the guy in one of their factories (he is now a foreman in one of the factories).
...

"Coolly-Aid-Develop" - that's C A D's Noble Deed ... Worthy of the Nobel Prize. You Revived and Gave New Life to a Fellow Man. May You and People Like You Be Around to Help One & ALL, and Inspire the FH Members! Greetings for Your

Noble Deed ... Worthy of Nobel!

[CtrlAltDel]

Initially we are very kind and when we realise that we were taken for rides at times or most often, we bcome cynical.

thats true..many times we have been taken for a ride ourself or heard such stories from others. i myself have been taken for a ride twice by people who pretended to be in great trouble to sponge of me

now i am careful, but i hope i do not overlook someone genuinely in trouble.

after that 1997 incident i never came across a similar experience, so i do not know how i wud react, but i hope i have not changed much.



Finally...wecome back Arch-ji. i think u have to post more often.

[Bimbette]

It was one of those days at the workplace. I work in the customer service industry so there are customers round the clock.



A physically handicapped person came up to my counter and asked for a job. I'm not fluent in telugu but I gathered that he had come from Vizag and had not eaten for 2 days. I was at a loss. I personally fetched him a glass of water, shoved some money in his hand, gave him the Regional Office's number and asked him to go there.



Was in a dilemma. On the one hand I didn't want to attract too much attention (what with it being peak time and having some nosey colleagues around) and on the other I wish I could have done something more substantial for him.



Kudos to GG and CAD. Keep the faith guys.

[akhilis2cool]

Hey CAD well done. Keep it up dude.