VIRGINS OR NOT?

by **Jaan** » Wed Jun 16, 2004 4:10 am

Just thought it would be a nice topic:

Does it matter more to males if their girl is not a virgin? or is?

Or does it matter more to the women if the guy is a virgin? or not?

Jaan

by **Mayavi Morpheus** » Wed Jun 16, 2004 4:21 am

I cant speak for others, but to me it doesnt matter.

But if the guy is a virgin, i.e., saved himself for his wife then he definitely expects his girl to be virgin, thats human nature.

by **Alexis** » Wed Jun 16, 2004 10:49 pm

Virginity is an invaluable gift you can give to your spouse.

I think its more important to men that they get a virgin wife. And if shes not a virgin, well then I dont know what......

People shouldnt take sex so lightly. Its more than just physical, its very emotional and spiritual and should be shared with some very special and dear----like your husband or wife.

One night stands......well, I dont really wanna get into that.

by **Habitual Perfectionist** » Wed Jun 16, 2004 11:27 pm

Alexis wrote:Virginity is an invaluable gift you can give to your spouse.

I think its more important to men that they get a virgin wife. And if shes not a virgin, well then I dont know what......

People shouldnt take sex so lightly. Its more than just physical, its very emotional and spiritual and should be shared with some very special and dear----like your husband or wife.

One night stands......well, I dont really wanna get into that.

What if it wasn't a one night stand? What if your spouse was truly in love with someone? And speaking very bluntly, what if your spouse was a rape victim? We should never forget that we are humans and we are all open to follies.

For me, my wife's present matters. If she'd had sex in the past and she's no more involved with the person, its better to let sleeping dogs lie. Yes...I'd definitely have a major problem if I see any hint of infidelity in my wife today. She'll lose me the very same moment. Physically, emotionally & socially.

by **Alexis** » Wed Jun 16, 2004 11:56 pm

Your mind-set is very noble and practical, HP. And I wish all men thought that way. But thats not so. Even westerners have a problem with that.

Fidelity is the glue that keeps the marriage together. If you dont have that, consider your marriage broken.........or soon to be.

by **rabbithole** » Thu Jun 17, 2004 1:32 am

Your mind-set is very noble and practical, HP

practical ...yes

noble??? :shock:

by **Johnny** » Thu Jun 17, 2004 1:37 am

Virginity ?? How do u define virginity? Virginity in itself is a controversial definition. It can be of 2 types, Physical virgnity, emotional virgiinity. A simple definition concerning physical aspects is unfair.

For me what matters is the emotional virginity. If she is pure by heart, and promises to be faithful in future, i dont care about he past. People by nature would commit mistakes, its natural. But, the important thing is to adhere to a commitment like marriage. Once it is made, then there is no excuse for infidelity

by **Alexis** » Thu Jun 17, 2004 2:37 am

R.H, according to Webster, 'Noble' is defined as:

"possessing, characterized by, or arising from superiority of mind or character or of ideals or morals.

I think it is noble of HP to say, "For me, my wife's present matters. If she'd had sex in the past and she's no more involved with the person, its better to let sleeping dogs lie."

Not many men think that way, esp. not most Indian men. :roll:

by **rabbithole** » Thu Jun 17, 2004 4:35 am

Alexis wrote:R.H, according to Webster, 'Noble' is defined as:
"possessing, characterized by, or arising from superiority of mind or character or of ideals or morals.

I think it is noble of HP to say, "For me, my wife's present matters. If she'd had sex in the past and she's no more involved with the person, its better to let sleeping dogs lie."

Not many men think that way, esp. not most Indian men.

i stand corrected!

by **Adonis** » Thu Jun 17, 2004 5:50 am

Johnny wrote: Virginity ?? How do u define virginity? Virginity in itself is a controversial definition. It can be of 2 types, Physical virgnity, emotional virgiinity. A simple definition concerning physical aspects is unfair.

For me what matters is the emotional virginity. If she is pure by heart, and promises to be faithful in future, i dont care about he past. People by nature would commit mistakes, its natural. But, the important thing is to adhere to a commitment like marriage. Once it is made, then there is no excuse for infidelity

just though i d share with uz ...did you knw a girl can get her physical virginty back by a surgery...surgery is called hymen restoration

oh well ...as for me i dont really care if my wife is a virgin or not .....the past is past .....

by **Alexis** » Thu Jun 17, 2004 6:06 am

Hymen Restoration, huh? So the hymen is restored and shes a born-again virgin? :roll:

I dont buy that. Once you lose it, youve lost it forever.

Its like being in an accident and having your arm amputated. Then surgically attaching a prosthetic arm thats actually works like a real hand.

by **Mayavi Morpheus** » Thu Jun 17, 2004 6:15 am

So, what exactly changes from before losing virginity to after losing it?

And why is virginity so important?

by **Alexis** » Thu Jun 17, 2004 6:56 am

Virginity=innocence.

Its the state of being chaste and pure.

Other than the ruptured hymen, there are no other physical changes. But emotionally and mentally, she'll feel a lot different. I dont know about men, but this is how a woman changes after losing her virginity.

by **Habitual Perfectionist** » Thu Jun 17, 2004 6:59 am

Alexis wrote:Virginity=innocence.
Its the state of being chaste and pure.

Other than the ruptured hymen, there are no other physical changes. But emotionally and mentally, she'll feel a lot different. I dont know about men, but this is how a woman changes after losing her virginity.

Men feel kinda nice after losing it. Atleast thats how I felt.

by **virgin?** » Thu Jun 17, 2004 7:25 am

whats virginity?

does it relate only to physical sex? or mental sex?

almost every human fantasizes mentally about sex, so who's left a VIRGIN NOW????

by ZC » Thu Jun 17, 2004 10:20 am

Habitual Perfectionist wrote:
Alexis wrote:Virginity=innocence.
Its the state of being chaste and pure.

Other than the ruptured hymen, there are no other physical changes. But emotionally and mentally, she'll feel a lot different. I dont know about men, but this is how a woman changes after losing her virginity.

Men feel kinda nice after losing it. Atleast thats how I felt.

by **CtrlAltDel** » Thu Jun 17, 2004 11:37 am

in my view Virginity is a mindset promoted by men who lay great importance and prestige to 'Opening' a girl first. physically it doesnt mean much, unless u r talking abt hymen, which is just a small piece of insignificant tissue...

it is medically impossible to tell if a girl is virgin or not, since hymen also ruptures after accidents or if the girl is active in sports.

regarding 'emotional changes' it happens to both men n women after the first time...no big deal either, unless its been traumatic.

really, its no big deal and the fuss attached to it is crazy.

Personally i dont care if my wife was a virgin or not when i married her...

since this topic has veered to infidelity too...well...lets say its subjective. sometimes infidelity just happens...we r humans after all. if this comes out in open, the couple shud sit n discuss what lead to it. there is no need to pass judgements on people who go for relationship outside marriage. but largely it depends on the individual's personal views how he/she reacts to infidelity of spouse.

by **the_high** » Thu Jun 17, 2004 1:20 pm

Alexis wrote:I think it is noble of HP to say, "For me, my wife's present matters. If she'd had sex in the past and she's no more involved with the person, its better to let sleeping dogs lie.":roll:

Personally, I consider virginity as a frame of mind. The same rules should apply to both men and women. How this can be done, I do not know.

Alexis wrote:Not many men think that way, esp. not most Indian men.

I am fairly new to the discussion board scene. The last things I expected to see here was hypocrisy. But, I notice that it is being exhibited in abundance by the 'literati' here in almost every other discussion topic. A few days ago, I happened to glance at a discussion topic where I noticed a pronounced proclivity to blame Hindi movies for our social ills, especially the way women are treated vis-a-vis eve-teasing lessons from our Hindi movie heroes etc.... Mind you, I don't like most Indian movies. At around the same time, I find another discussion board where a proclaimed female was holding forth on her fixation for 'meat' and 'beating the meat'. All the while, people still continue to blame Hindi movies for our present cultural 'degradation'. But, I don't think blaming them will achieve anything. To quote some stupid film dialogue, "Go and sell crazy some place else. We are all stocked up in here. "

by **Lucifer** » Thu Jun 17, 2004 2:41 pm

As far as I am concerned, virginity is a non-issue. It does not even deserve a mention. It makes no difference to me whether the person I get married to is a virgin or not. It is only important to me that she leaves her past behind.

Another thing discussed is infidelity. This is a serious issue because the way different people percieve infidelity is different. To some people even looking at another person constitutes straying. To some others, only the very act of intercourse with another person is cheating. Then there are people who have open relationships. I have no idea what constitutes infidelity in their case.

by **CtrlAltDel** » Thu Jun 17, 2004 5:08 pm

the_high wrote:I am fairly new to the discussion board scene.

thats obvious!

the_high wrote:I happened to glance at a discussion topic where I noticed a pronounced proclivity to blame Hindi movies for our social ills, especially the way women are treated vis-a-vis eve-teasing lessons from our Hindi movie heroes etc.... Mind you, I don't like most Indian movies.

i'll take up this first. the way they protray wooing of heroine by the hero in Indian films is but Eve-Teasing with music. Youths are easily carried away by movies in India and such "popular" songs wud give them the impression that girls usually melt if teased mercilessly, or that its a way to prove ones manliness. what was so hypocritical in that discussion?

the_high wrote:I find another discussion board where a proclaimed female was holding forth on her fixation for 'meat' and 'beating the meat'. All the while, people still continue to blame Hindi movies for our present cultural 'degradation'.

:? if u dont recognize humour n tongue in cheek banter, u need to re-orient yr thoughts to understand the fabulous genre of jokes labeled "Non-Veg" by the connoisseurs. we are not here just for serious discussion abt poverty or the nuclear arms race. on the other hand there are serious topics too, if u search (ok, i admit the 'serious' content had reduced in past 1 month, but now there are attempts to revive them)

anyway...Welcome to the Board dear n00b, and dont worry, we'll convert u to our "traditions" very soon!! :lol:

by **Habitual Perfectionist** » Thu Jun 17, 2004 6:11 pm

CtrlAltDel wrote:anyway...Welcome to the Board dear n00b, and dont worry, we'll convert u to our "traditions" very soon!!

AMEN!!

by **Fiddler** » Thu Jun 17, 2004 6:34 pm

Hmmm... Actually, there already exists a board on the same theme. I guess I'm the only one old enough to remember... ZC, you remember it too?

by **virgin** » Tue Jun 22, 2004 1:29 am

are we deviating from topic?

by **The Rainmaker** » Tue Jun 22, 2004 3:14 am

it would be fair if virgins got married to virgins. a guy preserves his virginity because he values it as something for The One... so wouldnt it be cool if he got someone with a similar mindset?

i know all of you will scream out loud since i'm taking a medieval point of view! but im just saying that it sounds Fair.

obviously in our times there's no choice for a guy/gal but to accept it if their spouse isnt one. dont get me wrong, i dont think virgins are good persons and non-virgins are bad... nothing of that sort! every individual has a different opinion on virginity.

by **Ashwn4** » Mon Jun 28, 2004 7:55 am

I personally don't give two shits worth if its a virgin or not. Hey, if it is a virgin- then extra points, just because of the excitement! It wouldn't make a difference if she had already gone thru it a bunch of times.

Also, for me it depends on which continent I am. Right now I am in the US, and it wouldn't matter to anybody if I was a virgin, but I would stand out being 21 yrs old (thank god I am not! haha). I also don't want to be the one to pop a girls cherry unless I am her age because it would carry with her for the rest of her life. In India, I think people should change and this 'not clean' attitude should go, I mean you have to change!

Ashwin

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