I’m not sure if my wife is trying to tell me to leave.

[bacaa]

I’m not sure if my wife is trying to tell me to leave.

Everyday she does thing to further push me away and I don't understand it because she says that not the case but her action speaks a totally different story. We both have issue but to hear her tell it it's all my fault because she trying everything possible and bending over backward for even getting down on her knees begging me for answers or ways to fix us. To some degree I can see that she actually believes that. But the majority of the time it an act so that everyone else can feel sympathy for her or so she can be the benevolent marauder. She complains (let me not says complain because I don't want to be to negative) she says that I do not show her love or pay any attention to her that I with draw and punish her deliberately by with holding my love from her. She claim that I keep secrets from her and that I am having an inappropriate relationship with someone on some personal site and that she has proof of the matter but has never been able to provide this proof except once or twice and both times her theory was incorrect. She swears that I have signed up for and pay for an adult porn site and again that was disproved. I am told how I never listen to her and that I always have to be right. That I have no respect for her or her feeling what so ever and when I look at her that there is such disgust and hate in my eyes. I am Just listing her grievances right now not and her issues. She feels that I don't meet her needs or take into consideration her opinions and thoughts she constantly reminds me of how I have broken every promise that I have made to her most importantly us not getting our honeymoon. Here are some of the thing that makes me feel that she is asking me to pack my shit and go.

1. Everything I do or say in under heavy scrutiny and viewed with such distrust (of course when you ask her she will say that I give her reason. When in actually I have never kept anything from her but she keeps many secrets from me and lies to me when ask about.

2. She can do no wrong it always someone else fault she has to absolve herself from everything and turn it around on some else that someone usually being me and when I try to point this out or tell her how I feel I am being ugly and she see me so clearly now and she doesn’t like me and that I disgust her and make her sick.

3. She had and inappropriate relationship this guy she know. We where (and still are) in a bad finical situation she lost her job so money became extremely tight but trying to be supportive I told her not to worry and I figure something out because I know she didn’t want to work and truth be told I didn’t want her to but I did need help in supporting us. That where this guy comes in she asks him for money (of course she said she would pay him back or work it off at his business. My wife is a very beautiful woman who know how to use her look and feminine charms to get a man to do thing for her. She didn’t ask me how that made feel for her to ask another man for money. Come to find out another man that is married and already sleeping around with another woman another one of wife’s fly by night girlfriends. My wife and this guy gets to talking on the phone on a regular basis and she always takes the phone to the bedroom or out on the porch she says as not to disturb me from watching T.V. because that’s all I do (another grievance). Well her and this guy begins to have conversation about me and all of sudden he is taken her out lunch mind you now she comes and goes to work for this guy as she pleases there are no set our as there are for his other employees and she was given a significant amount of money to work off or pay back. She mention once that her car needed to be clean and for no reason just because he is a nice guy and a friend he decide to take it upon himself and starts cleaning her car for which she tells one her girlfriends about (an old friend of mine) how without being ask he was cleaning her car and that I have done it so long basically comparing him to me. One day she calls him and tells him she’s not coming in well that day I was home from work and he calls her and was kind of startle that I answers her cell phone and after composing himself says he was just calling to see how she was doing. This came the day after she lied to me about being on the phone with her mom when clearly I know it was a mans voice. So I call her on it and told her that I feel this relationship is not right and that it shouldn’t be going on. At first I got oh don’t be silly he is just a friend and after saying to her what if I had the same relationship with some married woman who is already sleeping around on her man. At first I thought she understood because she agreed and said that she wouldn’t like but just as quick she started absolving herself of the responsibility by saying that that’s always happens to her guys always want to sleep her and that she can’t help that totally ignoring the fact the she has done things to encourage or lead this guy on enough for him to clean her car call and check up on her (my job) and give her money. She began to blame friends of mine who may or may not have said something to me for trying keep her from be happy and that they where betraying her. Never taking the time to realize that I knew and told her about she provided me the information not any of our friends (now just my friends) and that she was the one who was betraying me. That when all of a sudden I have been keep secrets from and she was going through all of emails files on the computer saying she seen this and found that and don’t think I don’t know what you are doing oh I see you so clearly now. And for some reason even after I have ask her not to she still every now then calls this guy oh she says it because this business she is creating but she doing that with his brother who really is a decent human being. And has the nerve to feel that I have no right to be upset. I know that was a long three but I never get to express myself at all and if I attempt to I am being ridiculous or I can’t believe that how you see me how sad for you because you are going to lose the best thing you ever had.

4. She is very resentful of my daughter don’t get me wrong she loves my child very much but she make a competition out everything I do with child. It’s to the point that sometimes I can feel myself being hesitant in showing love to my daughter for fear of how it’s going to make her feel or because I know that’s an argument waiting to happen about how I have energy to play my child but her I can show my child love and affection but not and how it hurt her to see me have a good time with my child (and she know my daughter deserves it she know because she missed out on that from her father) and not have the same love for her. She can’t see that I do because it is so hard for me to pass the anger and hostility she has for me her family her past and the world. She can’t see how angry and vicious she is and that when she is screaming and yelling and hitting me that it kind of hard to put your arms around someone like that who is venting the frustration of the world out on me. I try to calm her down or I say let not talk about this because we can’t resolve it ourselves but that doesn’t work because that all I want to do is sweep under the rug and forget about it. When in actually I want to resolve it but it can’t be done because it’s only her feeling that are hurt she the one that is in pain yeah yeah yeah she know that I have some pain to but I a man so they are not real issue only her and because I am a man she can get in my face and scream to the heavens above to where spit is flying in my face she can throw thing and hit me and because I am a 6’2’’ 250lb man and she only a little tiny 5’3’’ 103lb it O.K. and how dare I yell back at her after being berated for 15 to 20 min that makes me disgusting evil arrogant and abusive.

5. I am the only source of income in the house right now and she will tell you I make her feel like shit because she doesn’t. She will say that I treat her like nothing like she lower than dirt. And she right I have made her feel that way and for that I am truly sorry. What she wont tell you is that when I do it after she has been yelling and complaining about we don’t have money to do anything she has no money for her necessity (which are hair product beauty supply cigarette alcohol and various other questionable thing). She might tell you that I that I am killing myself to provide for my family that what she will tell you. She wont tell that I get up at 0400 and out the door by 0500 to work she wont tell that when works is done I have about an hour then it time for school (that my second job because I get paid for it) not just because I want an education but because we need money and the government pays me to go to school. So after hearing her complain about what she doesn’t have and even telling people that there is no food here at our house but I am McD’s and that she didn’t get her honeymoon and not keeping any of my promises to her going out of her way to make me feel bad and like shit because she is over suffering that she can have any man and they would be glad to take care of her and I should be so lucky that she chooses to stay with me. After hearing all of that I have yell back at her and said get a job so that you pay for the necessity that I am not giving you and you get your honeymoon (not our where we both rejoice and enjoy one another but her honeymoon because she deserves it).

6. I am sorry this has taken so long but as I said earlier I really don’t get the opportunity to express myself so I am going to try and end this now with this one last thing because there are so many. This past weekend my took off to L.V. with her mother to get away and clear her head get some perspective on herself and our marriage. Before she left her cell phone was off and because they where taken questionable transportation I went and pay money that should have been allocated to something else to get her phone back on and I just asked that when they arrive there that she give me call and let me know they made it there safely. I knew she need to get away from me because I know my genuinely feels as if I do nothing but sit around and figure out new ways to cause her pain and grief. So I didn’t think that was an unreasonable request. Her and her mother left Thursday between 1900 – 2000 and I didn’t hear from her until 0100 Sunday morning she talk with everyone else except me in order for to make sure she got O.K. I had to call and have another man call my wife to see if she got there safely (and today she mad at me because the man that call her for me is the bother of the guy she had the inappropriate relationship with who is helping her starts this business and wont return her calls as soon she feels he should. And that’s my fault for calling him to call her not her fault for not calling me to say hey I here just wanted to let you know. She didn’t even have to call she could email texts message something and I wouldn’t have had to contact anyone else.

I really love my wife with all of my heart but it never seen by her it clear to everyone around us and to me just not her any suggestion.





Strong

[mark]

I’m not sure if my wife is trying to tell me to leave.
Everyday she does thing to further push me away and I don't understand it because she says that not the case but her action speaks a totally different story. We both have issue but to hear her tell it it's all my fault because she trying everything possible and bending over backward for even getting down on her knees begging me for answers or ways to fix us. To some degree I can see that she actually believes that. But the majority of the time it an act so that everyone else can feel sympathy for her or so she can be the benevolent marauder. She complains (let me not says complain because I don't want to be to negative) she says that I do not show her love or pay any attention to her that I with draw and punish her deliberately by with holding my love from her. She claim that I keep secrets from her and that I am having an inappropriate relationship with someone on some personal site and that she has proof of the matter but has never been able to provide this proof except once or twice and both times her theory was incorrect. She swears that I have signed up for and pay for an adult porn site and again that was disproved. I am told how I never listen to her and that I always have to be right. That I have no respect for her or her feeling what so ever and when I look at her that there is such disgust and hate in my eyes. I am Just listing her grievances right now not and her issues. She feels that I don't meet her needs or take into consideration her opinions and thoughts she constantly reminds me of how I have broken every promise that I have made to her most importantly us not getting our honeymoon. Here are some of the thing that makes me feel that she is asking me to pack my shit and go.
1. Everything I do or say in under heavy scrutiny and viewed with such distrust (of course when you ask her she will say that I give her reason. When in actually I have never kept anything from her but she keeps many secrets from me and lies to me when ask about.
2. She can do no wrong it always someone else fault she has to absolve herself from everything and turn it around on some else that someone usually being me and when I try to point this out or tell her how I feel I am being ugly and she see me so clearly now and she doesn’t like me and that I disgust her and make her sick.
3. She had and inappropriate relationship this guy she know. We where (and still are) in a bad finical situation she lost her job so money became extremely tight but trying to be supportive I told her not to worry and I figure something out because I know she didn’t want to work and truth be told I didn’t want her to but I did need help in supporting us. That where this guy comes in she asks him for money (of course she said she would pay him back or work it off at his business. My wife is a very beautiful woman who know how to use her look and feminine charms to get a man to do thing for her. She didn’t ask me how that made feel for her to ask another man for money. Come to find out another man that is married and already sleeping around with another woman another one of wife’s fly by night girlfriends. My wife and this guy gets to talking on the phone on a regular basis and she always takes the phone to the bedroom or out on the porch she says as not to disturb me from watching T.V. because that’s all I do (another grievance). Well her and this guy begins to have conversation about me and all of sudden he is taken her out lunch mind you now she comes and goes to work for this guy as she pleases there are no set our as there are for his other employees and she was given a significant amount of money to work off or pay back. She mention once that her car needed to be clean and for no reason just because he is a nice guy and a friend he decide to take it upon himself and starts cleaning her car for which she tells one her girlfriends about (an old friend of mine) how without being ask he was cleaning her car and that I have done it so long basically comparing him to me. One day she calls him and tells him she’s not coming in well that day I was home from work and he calls her and was kind of startle that I answers her cell phone and after composing himself says he was just calling to see how she was doing. This came the day after she lied to me about being on the phone with her mom when clearly I know it was a mans voice. So I call her on it and told her that I feel this relationship is not right and that it shouldn’t be going on. At first I got oh don’t be silly he is just a friend and after saying to her what if I had the same relationship with some married woman who is already sleeping around on her man. At first I thought she understood because she agreed and said that she wouldn’t like but just as quick she started absolving herself of the responsibility by saying that that’s always happens to her guys always want to sleep her and that she can’t help that totally ignoring the fact the she has done things to encourage or lead this guy on enough for him to clean her car call and check up on her (my job) and give her money. She began to blame friends of mine who may or may not have said something to me for trying keep her from be happy and that they where betraying her. Never taking the time to realize that I knew and told her about she provided me the information not any of our friends (now just my friends) and that she was the one who was betraying me. That when all of a sudden I have been keep secrets from and she was going through all of emails files on the computer saying she seen this and found that and don’t think I don’t know what you are doing oh I see you so clearly now. And for some reason even after I have ask her not to she still every now then calls this guy oh she says it because this business she is creating but she doing that with his brother who really is a decent human being. And has the nerve to feel that I have no right to be upset. I know that was a long three but I never get to express myself at all and if I attempt to I am being ridiculous or I can’t believe that how you see me how sad for you because you are going to lose the best thing you ever had.
4. She is very resentful of my daughter don’t get me wrong she loves my child very much but she make a competition out everything I do with child. It’s to the point that sometimes I can feel myself being hesitant in showing love to my daughter for fear of how it’s going to make her feel or because I know that’s an argument waiting to happen about how I have energy to play my child but her I can show my child love and affection but not and how it hurt her to see me have a good time with my child (and she know my daughter deserves it she know because she missed out on that from her father) and not have the same love for her. She can’t see that I do because it is so hard for me to pass the anger and hostility she has for me her family her past and the world. She can’t see how angry and vicious she is and that when she is screaming and yelling and hitting me that it kind of hard to put your arms around someone like that who is venting the frustration of the world out on me. I try to calm her down or I say let not talk about this because we can’t resolve it ourselves but that doesn’t work because that all I want to do is sweep under the rug and forget about it. When in actually I want to resolve it but it can’t be done because it’s only her feeling that are hurt she the one that is in pain yeah yeah yeah she know that I have some pain to but I a man so they are not real issue only her and because I am a man she can get in my face and scream to the heavens above to where spit is flying in my face she can throw thing and hit me and because I am a 6’2’’ 250lb man and she only a little tiny 5’3’’ 103lb it O.K. and how dare I yell back at her after being berated for 15 to 20 min that makes me disgusting evil arrogant and abusive.
5. I am the only source of income in the house right now and she will tell you I make her feel like shit because she doesn’t. She will say that I treat her like nothing like she lower than dirt. And she right I have made her feel that way and for that I am truly sorry. What she wont tell you is that when I do it after she has been yelling and complaining about we don’t have money to do anything she has no money for her necessity (which are hair product beauty supply cigarette alcohol and various other questionable thing). She might tell you that I that I am killing myself to provide for my family that what she will tell you. She wont tell that I get up at 0400 and out the door by 0500 to work she wont tell that when works is done I have about an hour then it time for school (that my second job because I get paid for it) not just because I want an education but because we need money and the government pays me to go to school. So after hearing her complain about what she doesn’t have and even telling people that there is no food here at our house but I am McD’s and that she didn’t get her honeymoon and not keeping any of my promises to her going out of her way to make me feel bad and like shit because she is over suffering that she can have any man and they would be glad to take care of her and I should be so lucky that she chooses to stay with me. After hearing all of that I have yell back at her and said get a job so that you pay for the necessity that I am not giving you and you get your honeymoon (not our where we both rejoice and enjoy one another but her honeymoon because she deserves it).
6. I am sorry this has taken so long but as I said earlier I really don’t get the opportunity to express myself so I am going to try and end this now with this one last thing because there are so many. This past weekend my took off to L.V. with her mother to get away and clear her head get some perspective on herself and our marriage. Before she left her cell phone was off and because they where taken questionable transportation I went and pay money that should have been allocated to something else to get her phone back on and I just asked that when they arrive there that she give me call and let me know they made it there safely. I knew she need to get away from me because I know my genuinely feels as if I do nothing but sit around and figure out new ways to cause her pain and grief. So I didn’t think that was an unreasonable request. Her and her mother left Thursday between 1900 – 2000 and I didn’t hear from her until 0100 Sunday morning she talk with everyone else except me in order for to make sure she got O.K. I had to call and have another man call my wife to see if she got there safely (and today she mad at me because the man that call her for me is the bother of the guy she had the inappropriate relationship with who is helping her starts this business and wont return her calls as soon she feels he should. And that’s my fault for calling him to call her not her fault for not calling me to say hey I here just wanted to let you know. She didn’t even have to call she could email texts message something and I wouldn’t have had to contact anyone else.
I really love my wife with all of my heart but it never seen by her it clear to everyone around us and to me just not her any suggestion.


Strong

sounds like a real tough patch man, i'm sure you'll put through it. There was a lot of "I"s in your post, and a lot of "her"s and "She"s but only 6 "we"s, if you follow me. You should both concentrate on your relationship as more of a unit. you said "my daughter" repeatedly, and "her family" when "our daughter" and "our family" would be more appropriate.



anyway, your post has reminded me how luck i am to be single, thanks for that. besta luck.

[Sharjeel]

You (both) need professional help.



If it is so bad as you say, why don't you just move out? Love is not the only thing in life.



You can find many people who will love you and are respectful to you.

[lizard king]

alright... i have a question, well, it does nt have anythign to do with Bacca s post, or maybe it should actually be under the trivia section.

anyway, what word appears atleast a thousand times in any of Shakespeare' s plays but only once in the bible?

[skm]

I am not sure i can judge someone. What i can say is that

1. She seems pretty upset with u for not talking her for a honeymoon. I feel this is every couples desire. I am sure u feel bad too but she might feel even worse.. I feel u should still try to make it up to her some time...

2. She is a young dynamic person. Wants to be cared and loved. Probably u being busy with work and not being able to spend time with her or listen to her, talk to her might have led her to finding a friend for herself. A lady likes to be pamperred at times and taken care of.. A simple line when u get back and see her can make a lot of difference. " you are looking very beautiful today" or " ie a beautiful sari u r wearing" or "this clothes really suits u" or "food is really tasty... i overate" ..... "I like the way u keep the house".." i am so lucky to have u" these sentences are not to just be told... u should mean it and your actions should tell the same... without knowing u might be comming home and sitting in front of the TV .... this is wrong... u should spend time with your wife and understand how her day was .. what did she do... listen to her..... try to know her thoughts and feelings, etc...



I feel lack of u expressing yourself is the problem.. appreciate her... make her feel wanted.... take her out for a dinner... drive.... try to spend more time with her... do what she likes.... this will surely help u and your family..



Not supporting any one... just a friendly thought.....