A lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem.
I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing. They keep saying "Hi, we're hot. Do you want a date?" That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed. "But I do have a solution to your problem. Bring your two parrots over to my house and I will put them
with my two male talking parrots to whom I have taught to pray and read the bible.My parrots will then teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship."
So the next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priest's house. the priest's two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking Parrots, and the female parrots say, "Hi, we're hot. Do you want a date?"One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and screams, "Put your Bible away Idiot, our prayers have been answered!!!!!!!"
----------
- Chahat
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Joke of the day
Moderator: The Moderator Team
Clever Dog...
A wife says to her husband one weekend morning, "We've got such a clever dog,
He brings in the daily newspapers every morning."
Her husband replies, "Well, lots of dogs can do that."
The wife responded, "But we've never subscribed to any!"
----------
- Chahat
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He brings in the daily newspapers every morning."
Her husband replies, "Well, lots of dogs can do that."
The wife responded, "But we've never subscribed to any!"
----------
- Chahat
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Funny joke...
A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."
A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined.
Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.
The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer."
The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs and produced a sample spreadsheet and database and presented them to the manager. By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I *still* can't give you the job."
The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said, "Yes, but the sign *also* says that you have to be bilingual."
The dog looked at him straight in the face and said, "Meow."
----------
- Chahat
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A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined.
Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.
The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer."
The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs and produced a sample spreadsheet and database and presented them to the manager. By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I *still* can't give you the job."
The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said, "Yes, but the sign *also* says that you have to be bilingual."
The dog looked at him straight in the face and said, "Meow."
----------
- Chahat
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Panda joke..
A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!"
The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda:
"A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."
----------
- Chahat
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The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda:
"A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."
----------
- Chahat
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How do u call them???
A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, "How many children do you have?" "Ten," she replied.
"What are their names?" he asked.
"David, David, David, David, David, David, David, David, David and David," she answered.
"They're all named David?" he asked "What if you want them to come in from playing outside?"
"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call 'David,' and they all come running in."
"And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?"
"I just say, 'David, come eat your dinner'," she answered.
"But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?" he asked.
"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just use their last name!"
----------
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"What are their names?" he asked.
"David, David, David, David, David, David, David, David, David and David," she answered.
"They're all named David?" he asked "What if you want them to come in from playing outside?"
"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call 'David,' and they all come running in."
"And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?"
"I just say, 'David, come eat your dinner'," she answered.
"But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?" he asked.
"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just use their last name!"
----------
- Chahat
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Seen a grasshopper....
A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large."
Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, "We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows."
The conversation has almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, "And what are those?"
The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas?"
----------
- Chahat
Hindi shayari and hindi sms messages:
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Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, "We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows."
The conversation has almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, "And what are those?"
The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas?"
----------
- Chahat
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WIFE VS. HUSBAND Jokes(Funny)
A couple drove down a country road for several miles,
not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an
argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
"Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "In-laws."
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many
words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we
have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you
can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made
me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up
first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our
coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking
around here and you should do it, because that is your
job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it
is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New
Testament and showed him at the top of several pages,
that it indeed says........ .. "HEBREWS"
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM ." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM, Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
----------
- Chahat
Find lots of pranks funny at Jokes Duniya:
http://www.JokesDuniya.com
not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an
argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
"Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "In-laws."
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many
words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we
have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you
can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made
me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up
first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our
coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking
around here and you should do it, because that is your
job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it
is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New
Testament and showed him at the top of several pages,
that it indeed says........ .. "HEBREWS"
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM ." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM, Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
----------
- Chahat
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Funny...
A deep-sea diver is twenty feet below sea level when he sees another guy with no scuba gear.
He goes down another thirty feet and the guy with no equipment stays with him. He takes out a waterproof chalkboard and writes, How the hell can you stay down this deep without equipment?
The guy takes the chalkboard and writes, You Idiot, I’m drowning.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dad, I don’t want to go to school today. said the boy.
Why not, son?
Dad and son
Well, one of the chicken on the school farm died last week and we had chicken soup for lunch the next day. Then three days ago one of the pigs died and we had roast pork the next day.
But why don’t you want to go today?
Because our English teacher died yesterday!
----------
- Chahat
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He goes down another thirty feet and the guy with no equipment stays with him. He takes out a waterproof chalkboard and writes, How the hell can you stay down this deep without equipment?
The guy takes the chalkboard and writes, You Idiot, I’m drowning.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dad, I don’t want to go to school today. said the boy.
Why not, son?
Dad and son
Well, one of the chicken on the school farm died last week and we had chicken soup for lunch the next day. Then three days ago one of the pigs died and we had roast pork the next day.
But why don’t you want to go today?
Because our English teacher died yesterday!
----------
- Chahat
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Funny mom and son jokes....
A student called up his Mom one evening from his college and asked her for some money, because he was broke.
His Mother said, "Sure, sweetie. I will send you some money. You also left your economics book here when you visited two weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?"
"Uhh, oh yeah, O.K." responded the kid.
So his Mom wrapped the book along with the checks up in a package, kissed Dad goodbye, and went to the post office to mail the money and the book. When she gets back, Dad asked, "Well how much did you give the boy this time?"
"Oh, I wrote two checks, one for $20, and the other for $1,000."
"That's $1020!!!" yelled Dad, "Are you going crazy???"
"Don't worry hon," Mom said, kissed Dad on the on top of his bald head, "I taped the $20 check to the cover of his book, but I put the $1,000 one somewhere between the pages in chapter 15!"
----------
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His Mother said, "Sure, sweetie. I will send you some money. You also left your economics book here when you visited two weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?"
"Uhh, oh yeah, O.K." responded the kid.
So his Mom wrapped the book along with the checks up in a package, kissed Dad goodbye, and went to the post office to mail the money and the book. When she gets back, Dad asked, "Well how much did you give the boy this time?"
"Oh, I wrote two checks, one for $20, and the other for $1,000."
"That's $1020!!!" yelled Dad, "Are you going crazy???"
"Don't worry hon," Mom said, kissed Dad on the on top of his bald head, "I taped the $20 check to the cover of his book, but I put the $1,000 one somewhere between the pages in chapter 15!"
----------
- Chahat
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Why doesn't the blood run in ur feet??
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood as you know would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.
Yes ,the class said.
Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?
A little fellow shouted, Cause your feet ain’t empty like ur head.
----------
- Chahat
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Yes ,the class said.
Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?
A little fellow shouted, Cause your feet ain’t empty like ur head.
----------
- Chahat
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Funny Blond Joke,...
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing; so, after reading many books on the subject and gathering all of the necessary equipment, she made for the nearest frozen lake.
After positioning her comfy foot stool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, as if from the sky, a voice boomed out, HEY, YOU, THERE ARE NO FISH THERE!
Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a cup of cappuccino from her Thermos, and began to cut another hole. Again, a voice boomed, THERE ARE NO FISH THERE!
The blonde, now worried, moved to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and once again tried to cut the ice hole. Once more, the voice said, THERE ARE NO FISH THERE!
The blonde stopped, looked skyward, and said, Who are you, God? The voice replied, NO, I AM THE OWNER OF THIS ICE RINK!
----------
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After positioning her comfy foot stool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, as if from the sky, a voice boomed out, HEY, YOU, THERE ARE NO FISH THERE!
Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a cup of cappuccino from her Thermos, and began to cut another hole. Again, a voice boomed, THERE ARE NO FISH THERE!
The blonde, now worried, moved to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and once again tried to cut the ice hole. Once more, the voice said, THERE ARE NO FISH THERE!
The blonde stopped, looked skyward, and said, Who are you, God? The voice replied, NO, I AM THE OWNER OF THIS ICE RINK!
----------
- Chahat
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I am still winning!!!
There was a beautiful young blonde who was going to a soda machine and she arrived there just before a business man coming to quench his thirst. She opened her purse and put in 50 cents, studied the machine a little, pushed a Diet Coke selection, and out came a Diet Coke which she placed on a counter by the machine. Then she reached in her purse again and pulled out a dollar and inserted it in the machine. Studying the machine carefully, she pushed the button for Coke Classic and out came a Coke Classic and 50 cents change. She immediately took the 50 cents and put it in the machine, studied it for a moment and pushed the Mountain Dew button. Out came a Mountain Dew. As she was reaching into her purse again, the business man who had been waiting patiently for several minutes now spoke up.
"Excuse me Ms. but are you done yet?"
She looked at him and indignantly replied: "Well Duhhh!, I'm still winning."
----------
- Chahat
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"Excuse me Ms. but are you done yet?"
She looked at him and indignantly replied: "Well Duhhh!, I'm still winning."
----------
- Chahat
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New Santa Banta Joke...
Santa and Banta were walking along a path in a park. Then Santa turns to Banta and says, "Poor thing look at the dog with one eye."
Then Banta covers one of his eyes and says "where?"
----------
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Then Banta covers one of his eyes and says "where?"
----------
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A blonde is on board a small two seater plane when suddenly
A blonde is on board a small two seater plane when suddenly the pilot dies. Not knowing how to fly a plane she grabs the radio.
"Mayday, mayday! My pilot just died!"
Ground control receive her call for help and answers back:
"Don't worry, madam. I'll talk you down, just do as I say. First I need you to give me your height and position"
"I'm 5"2' and sitting in the front"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A blonde, a redhead and a brunette are having a holiday at the north pole. The blonde's weight is 110 pounds, the red's is 130 pounds, the brunette's is 150 pounds. One day, the three of them are having a trip on a sleigh.
Suddenly, they see a polar bear behind them. Quickly, they throw out all the luggage behind them, but this doesn't help: the bear comes closer. They realise that one of the three will have to sacrifice herself so that the 2 others will be able to escape. "You should do it", the blonde says to the brunette, "The bear will need more time to eat you then to eat me or the redhead". "I guess you're right", the brunette says. She jumps out of the sleigh and gets killed by the bear.
"Thank God for my brains", the blonde says, but the bear reopens the chase.
"Now it's your time, red, the blonde says. "Your weight is bigger than mine."
"I guess you're right", the red says, and she also jumps out and gets killed.
"Thank God for my brains", the blonde says.
But still the bear won't stop hunting the sleigh. The blonde really gets mad, and she cries out : "You stupid animal!! Just wait a minute!! I'll take my gun and I'll blow you to pieces!!"
----------
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"Mayday, mayday! My pilot just died!"
Ground control receive her call for help and answers back:
"Don't worry, madam. I'll talk you down, just do as I say. First I need you to give me your height and position"
"I'm 5"2' and sitting in the front"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A blonde, a redhead and a brunette are having a holiday at the north pole. The blonde's weight is 110 pounds, the red's is 130 pounds, the brunette's is 150 pounds. One day, the three of them are having a trip on a sleigh.
Suddenly, they see a polar bear behind them. Quickly, they throw out all the luggage behind them, but this doesn't help: the bear comes closer. They realise that one of the three will have to sacrifice herself so that the 2 others will be able to escape. "You should do it", the blonde says to the brunette, "The bear will need more time to eat you then to eat me or the redhead". "I guess you're right", the brunette says. She jumps out of the sleigh and gets killed by the bear.
"Thank God for my brains", the blonde says, but the bear reopens the chase.
"Now it's your time, red, the blonde says. "Your weight is bigger than mine."
"I guess you're right", the red says, and she also jumps out and gets killed.
"Thank God for my brains", the blonde says.
But still the bear won't stop hunting the sleigh. The blonde really gets mad, and she cries out : "You stupid animal!! Just wait a minute!! I'll take my gun and I'll blow you to pieces!!"
----------
- Chahat
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Very Funny...
Nice Jokes Chahat Dear,
Keep Them Coming...
Keep Them Coming...
- Shakes
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Never used brain...
A man went in for a Brain transplant operation and was offered a choice of two brains by the surgeon. He could choose either the Architect's brain which would cost him £10,000 or the Politician's which was £100,000.
"Does that mean that the politician's brain is much better than the Architect's?" exclaimed the clearly puzzled man.
"Not exactly" replied the surgeon, "the politician's has never been used."
----------
- Chahat
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"Does that mean that the politician's brain is much better than the Architect's?" exclaimed the clearly puzzled man.
"Not exactly" replied the surgeon, "the politician's has never been used."
----------
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Big John has a bus pass...
One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops, a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.
At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back.
The next day the same thing happened-Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the one after that, and so forth. This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him.
Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff. By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what's more, he felt really good about himself.
So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, "Big John doesn't pay!," the driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, "And why not?"
With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, "Big John has a bus pass."
----------
- Chahat
Collection of good Father's Day SMS Messages
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At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back.
The next day the same thing happened-Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the one after that, and so forth. This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him.
Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff. By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what's more, he felt really good about himself.
So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, "Big John doesn't pay!," the driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, "And why not?"
With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, "Big John has a bus pass."
----------
- Chahat
Collection of good Father's Day SMS Messages
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The plane landing runway....
Two guys were sitting in a bar getting really drunk. After awhile,
just drinking gets boring, so the first guy looks at the second guy
and says, "Hey, you want to go up for a ride in my airplane?"
The second guy says, "Wow, you have an airplane? Let's go!"
So they get some more beer and go for a tour around the city in the
plane. Eventually they get bored with this too, so they decide to
land. The drunk pilot starts circling around looking for a place to
land, and he sees an airstrip close by. He says his new buddy along
for the ride, "Let's land here. It looks like it's as good a place as
any."
So he circles around and goes in for a landing, but at the last
minute he swerves and pulls back up. "Shit!" he says, "That is the
SHORTEST runway I have ever seen! How is anyone supposed to
land on it?" But since it's the only runway nearby, he decides to try
again, with the same result.
Getting pretty irritated, the pilot says to his friend, "All right,
I'm going to try ONE more time, and if I can't land it we're just
going to crash and hope we don't die." So they end up crashing, and
miraculously neither is hurt.
When they crawl out of the wreckage, the first guy is swears
and gesticulates wildly at the runway. "I'm gonna find whoever
designed this crazy runway and wring his neck! He must be total moron!
No one could land on anything that short!"
The second guy looks around and says "Yeah, but look how wide it
is!"
----------
- Chahat
A nice collection of love sms jokes:
http://www.SMSFunOnline.com
just drinking gets boring, so the first guy looks at the second guy
and says, "Hey, you want to go up for a ride in my airplane?"
The second guy says, "Wow, you have an airplane? Let's go!"
So they get some more beer and go for a tour around the city in the
plane. Eventually they get bored with this too, so they decide to
land. The drunk pilot starts circling around looking for a place to
land, and he sees an airstrip close by. He says his new buddy along
for the ride, "Let's land here. It looks like it's as good a place as
any."
So he circles around and goes in for a landing, but at the last
minute he swerves and pulls back up. "Shit!" he says, "That is the
SHORTEST runway I have ever seen! How is anyone supposed to
land on it?" But since it's the only runway nearby, he decides to try
again, with the same result.
Getting pretty irritated, the pilot says to his friend, "All right,
I'm going to try ONE more time, and if I can't land it we're just
going to crash and hope we don't die." So they end up crashing, and
miraculously neither is hurt.
When they crawl out of the wreckage, the first guy is swears
and gesticulates wildly at the runway. "I'm gonna find whoever
designed this crazy runway and wring his neck! He must be total moron!
No one could land on anything that short!"
The second guy looks around and says "Yeah, but look how wide it
is!"
----------
- Chahat
A nice collection of love sms jokes:
http://www.SMSFunOnline.com
- Chahat
- Registered User
- Posts: 471
- Joined: Sat Apr 08, 2006 6:10 pm
Some funny jokes here.....
Family is driving in their car on holidays. Frog crosses the road and
husband, who is driving, is able to stop the car. He gets out an takes the
frog and carries him to the side of the road. Frog is greatful, thanks the
man and tells him that he will grant him a wish. Man says: please make my
dog win the nexr dog race. Frog asks to look at the dog which jumps out of
the car. The frog notices that the dog has only got three legs and tells
the man that he thinks it is almost impossible to fulful his wish and asks
that the man will tell him another wish. Man says: well, then please help
that my wife will win the next beauty contest in the area. Frog asks him
to tell his wife to get out of the car. Wife comes out of the car and
approaches the frog. The frog turns to the man and says:
"Could I please have another look at the dog???".
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.
"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your
secret for a long happy life?" "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day,"
he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and
never exercise." "That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?'
"Twenty-six," he said.
----------
- Chahat
Cute love sms and romantic sms messages:
http://www.SMSFunOnline.com
husband, who is driving, is able to stop the car. He gets out an takes the
frog and carries him to the side of the road. Frog is greatful, thanks the
man and tells him that he will grant him a wish. Man says: please make my
dog win the nexr dog race. Frog asks to look at the dog which jumps out of
the car. The frog notices that the dog has only got three legs and tells
the man that he thinks it is almost impossible to fulful his wish and asks
that the man will tell him another wish. Man says: well, then please help
that my wife will win the next beauty contest in the area. Frog asks him
to tell his wife to get out of the car. Wife comes out of the car and
approaches the frog. The frog turns to the man and says:
"Could I please have another look at the dog???".
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.
"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your
secret for a long happy life?" "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day,"
he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and
never exercise." "That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?'
"Twenty-six," he said.
----------
- Chahat
Cute love sms and romantic sms messages:
http://www.SMSFunOnline.com
- Chahat
- Registered User
- Posts: 471
- Joined: Sat Apr 08, 2006 6:10 pm
Funny blond cops joke.....
A blonde police officer stops a blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.
The driver searches around in her handbag but can’t find it. She says to the cop, I must have left it at home officer.
The cop says, Well, do you have any kind of identification? The motorist searches around in her bag again, and finds a mirror.
She looks at it and says to the cop, All I have is this picture of myself. The cop says, Let me see it, then.
So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn’t have even pulled you over. You are free to go.
----------
- Chahat
Do you love somebody? Express your feelings with sweet romantic sms
The driver searches around in her handbag but can’t find it. She says to the cop, I must have left it at home officer.
The cop says, Well, do you have any kind of identification? The motorist searches around in her bag again, and finds a mirror.
She looks at it and says to the cop, All I have is this picture of myself. The cop says, Let me see it, then.
So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn’t have even pulled you over. You are free to go.
----------
- Chahat
Do you love somebody? Express your feelings with sweet romantic sms
- Chahat
- Registered User
- Posts: 471
- Joined: Sat Apr 08, 2006 6:10 pm
Tom and Bill funny joke.....
Bill and Tom are two Irishmen working at the local sawmill.
One day Bill slips and his arm gets caught and severed by the big bench saw.
Tom quickly puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Bill to the local hospital.
Next day, Tom goes to the hospital and asks after Bill.The nurse says, ‘Oh he’s out in rehab exercising’. Tom couldn’t believe it, but there’s Bill out the back exercising his now reattached arm.
The very next day he’s back at work in the saw mill. But a couple of days go by, and then Bill slips and severs his leg on another big saw thing. So Tom puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Bill off to hospital.
Next day he calls in to see him and asks the nurse how he is. The nurse replies, ‘He’s out in the rehab again exercising’.
Sure enough, there’s Bill out there doing some serious work on the treadmill. Bill comes back to work in two days fully recovered.
But, as usual, within a couple of days he has another accident and this time severs his head. Wearily Tom puts the head in a plastic bag and transports it and Bill to hospital.
Next day he goes in and asks the nurse how Bill is.
The nurse breaks down crying and says, ‘He’s dead!’
Tom is shocked, but not surprised. ‘I suppose the saw finally did him in?’, sighs Tom.
‘No,’ says the nurse, ‘Some dopey idiot put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated.’
----------
- Chahat
Cool, funny and rude sms messages:
http://www.SMSFunOnline.com
One day Bill slips and his arm gets caught and severed by the big bench saw.
Tom quickly puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Bill to the local hospital.
Next day, Tom goes to the hospital and asks after Bill.The nurse says, ‘Oh he’s out in rehab exercising’. Tom couldn’t believe it, but there’s Bill out the back exercising his now reattached arm.
The very next day he’s back at work in the saw mill. But a couple of days go by, and then Bill slips and severs his leg on another big saw thing. So Tom puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Bill off to hospital.
Next day he calls in to see him and asks the nurse how he is. The nurse replies, ‘He’s out in the rehab again exercising’.
Sure enough, there’s Bill out there doing some serious work on the treadmill. Bill comes back to work in two days fully recovered.
But, as usual, within a couple of days he has another accident and this time severs his head. Wearily Tom puts the head in a plastic bag and transports it and Bill to hospital.
Next day he goes in and asks the nurse how Bill is.
The nurse breaks down crying and says, ‘He’s dead!’
Tom is shocked, but not surprised. ‘I suppose the saw finally did him in?’, sighs Tom.
‘No,’ says the nurse, ‘Some dopey idiot put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated.’
----------
- Chahat
Cool, funny and rude sms messages:
http://www.SMSFunOnline.com
- Chahat
- Registered User
- Posts: 471
- Joined: Sat Apr 08, 2006 6:10 pm
Funny Sardar and bihari joke....
A Bihari was waiting for his bus at the bus stop. Finally the bus arrives and he gets in.
The bus was fully loaded with Sardarjis. One Sardarji orders Bihari to tell a joke. Now, the Bihari thinks he’s in big trouble because he knows only Sardar jokes!
Bus stop
After thinking for some time he decides to substitute all references to ‘Sardars’ in his joke with ‘Biharis’. He starts the jokes with,
There was once a Bihari and suddenly he gets a major blow on his back from one of the sardarjis who shouts,
Kyon be! Sab sardar mar gaye hai kya?
----------
- Chahat
Email funny sms shayari to your friends:
http://www.SMSFunOnline.com
The bus was fully loaded with Sardarjis. One Sardarji orders Bihari to tell a joke. Now, the Bihari thinks he’s in big trouble because he knows only Sardar jokes!
Bus stop
After thinking for some time he decides to substitute all references to ‘Sardars’ in his joke with ‘Biharis’. He starts the jokes with,
There was once a Bihari and suddenly he gets a major blow on his back from one of the sardarjis who shouts,
Kyon be! Sab sardar mar gaye hai kya?
----------
- Chahat
Email funny sms shayari to your friends:
http://www.SMSFunOnline.com
- Chahat
- Registered User
- Posts: 471
- Joined: Sat Apr 08, 2006 6:10 pm
A nice story..........
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy,Bob. They loaded up Jack's mini van and headed north.
After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard.
They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,"she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."
Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light."
The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.
Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
About nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney.
It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up North?"
"Yes, I do."
"Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"
"Yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out.
"I have to admit that I did."
"And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?"
Bob's face turned red and he said, "Yeah, sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did."
"Why do you ask?"
She just died and left me everything."
----------
- Chahat
Have fun with these flirt and naughty sms messages:
http://www.SMSFunOnline.com
After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard.
They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,"she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."
Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light."
The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.
Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
About nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney.
It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up North?"
"Yes, I do."
"Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"
"Yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out.
"I have to admit that I did."
"And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?"
Bob's face turned red and he said, "Yeah, sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did."
"Why do you ask?"
She just died and left me everything."
----------
- Chahat
Have fun with these flirt and naughty sms messages:
http://www.SMSFunOnline.com
- Chahat
- Registered User
- Posts: 471
- Joined: Sat Apr 08, 2006 6:10 pm
Dollar joke.
A one dollar bill met a twenty dollar bill and said, "Hey, where've you been? I haven't seen you around here much."
The twenty answered, "I've been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship, back to the United States for a while, went to a couple of baseball games, to the mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?"
The one dollar bill said, "You know, same old stuff ... church, church, church."
----------
- Chahat
Cool, funny and rude sms messages:
http://www.SMSFunOnline.com
The twenty answered, "I've been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship, back to the United States for a while, went to a couple of baseball games, to the mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?"
The one dollar bill said, "You know, same old stuff ... church, church, church."
----------
- Chahat
Cool, funny and rude sms messages:
http://www.SMSFunOnline.com
- Chahat
- Registered User
- Posts: 471
- Joined: Sat Apr 08, 2006 6:10 pm
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