CtrlAltDel wrote:buddy...its not the matter of being friendly or not. its the matter of whether u're ideas n thots wud be appreciated and understood by elders who have a different value system. this is called "Generation Gap"
u may have modern ideas on many matters and wud like to live by them, but what wud u do if yr elders feel u r wrong, as per their value system? can u lead yr own life as u wish in a joint family? i am not equating modern with immoral here.
Generation gap is more of a communication gap. elders dont know what the youngsters think, and why they think so, and vice-a-versa. its the duty of the members to make sure that information flows properly in the family. if the judgements r based on perceptions then misunderstandings will happen.
CtrlAltDel wrote:everybody needs a place where he or she can feel he/she is the boss. this is necessary for personal growth and mental peace. and i dont see it happening much in a family.
there wud always be an undercurrent of resentment, tho it might not come out in open. but a day wud surely come when the dam wud burst and the concerned person(s) leave the joint family after a fight.
there would be an under current of resentment if the home is not managed properly. since in India the house wives are the bosses of the house I guess they play a crucial role here. they r the link between the modern generation and the elders.
CtrlAltDel wrote:help should come only when required. most of the fights between spouses can be solved by themselves. but in a joint family a small spat will draw in all the elders who will give all sorts of opinions and remedy, when it cud only worsen the situation.
now that is upto the couples to manage there petty problems quietly. understanding matters. may b I am setting too high a standard.
CtrlAltDel wrote:never said that...nuclear family has a set of its own disadvantages.
lonliness is one of the problems that comes with a nuclear family. i dont think that would happen in a joint family.
CtrlAltDel wrote:the joint family i am ranting against consists of assorted uncles, aunts, cousins and numerous other beings.
i think those who try to spoil the atmosphere in a joint family should either mend there ways or just stay away. the head of the family plays a crucial role here.
CtrlAltDel wrote:here parents must realise that they cannot, and should not, rule over their kids after a certain stage, esp sons after marriage. they must recognize that the next generation has its own values and have to respect it. they should act as trusted advisors and friends but not rulers. only then will peace prevail in the family.
values r passed on from one generation to another. they dont change with each generation. what u r reffering to, i guess, r needs and wants that will change from time to time.
CtrlAltDel wrote:if the head(s) of an extended joint family act this way, i dont see any problems with it.
if the elders and the youngsters develop a good understanding then there is no reason why a family will not stay together. Taali ek haath se nahin bajti, i guess sacrifises have to be made by both the sides and the benefits will also be shared, else the family will just divide and may never be happy.
People are crazy, at times are strange. I am locked-in tight, I am out of range.
I used to care, but things have changed.
