What would you do?

[Hyderabadi_Girl]

Hi,

Just thought I'd narrate an incident that occured a few days ago. My parents and I were driving back when we spotted a man forcing a woman to come with him (they were on a deserted road and this happened at around 8.30 pm). Upon closer look, the 'woman', was a girl not older than 16 yrs. The guy (in chaste telugu) told my folks that he had married her. The girl only spoke tamil and we learnt that she was from Egmore (in Chennai, I guess).



She was crying and was refusing to go with him. She didn't admit to having married him.



My parents gave the man a stern warning and we took the girl along with us. We decided to drop her off at a 'charity home' since it was unsafe to leave her elsewhere.



We stopped at the 'Missionaries of Charity' (near Clock Tower in Secunderabad), but the nun there refused to take her in. She stated that her 'office' would question her and that it might lead to complications. She was adamant that we drop the girl off at a police station.



We refused to do that and left with no other option, we were forced to drop her off at the railway station (since she had mentioned to my mom that she had come to Hyd a week ago). We did give her some money, food and some clothing and that was the last we saw off her.



The reason I chose to share this was to find out what others would have done if they were in our situation. Are there 'homes' in other parts of the city that take people in ? My parents were ready to sign on the necessary papers but the nun would have none of it.



We wanted to help in some way and it was frustrating to know that a 'home for destitutes/orphans' was not the right option.

[Akshay]

How about giving her shelter for a few days in one's own home. Dropping a girl off in the middle of the night at a railway station puts her in grave danger. Few act even as much as your family did when you saw her in trouble. So bravo for that. I just wish she reached home safe.

[bela]

Hyderabadi_Girl the way you and your family acted is really commendable. Good to hear that good people still exist as i was begginning to lose faith in total. People like you are instrumental in re establishing people's faith.



I too would have got the girl home and made her comfortable and then planned out the safest way for her to reach her home. I have heard there is a destitute home in Malkajigiri. Leaving a girl in a railway station or a police station is more dangerous than being left on the streets.



I am again left with a feeling of being helpless.



Convey my best wishes to your parents and tell them they have done a great job.

[betty]

My post will of course not answer the queries of Hyderabad_girl, i.e. list of homes, etc...but this is to present the other side of the picture. H_G's family could have kept the girl with them, but that would have led to serious complications with the so-called husband bringing charges of kidnapping against H_G's family, as the girl was a minor. Also, though it might not be in this case, but one cannot rule out the possibility of the girl doing a volte-face and claiming that H_g's family had harassed her....trust is a big factor these days, and even for leaving a girl at a Home, you need to know the credentials of that place to be sure that she will be safe.

[fullyhyd]

bravo, good work done, but the best would have been to drop her the next day at the railway station at the time of departure of a chennai bound train

[Mayavi Morpheus]

It is heartening to know that people like Hyderabadi_girl and her family still exist. If I were in her place, I wouldnt have dont what she and her family did even if I would like to.

I do not know of any battered women homes in hyderabad, but you have done a wise thing by leaving her at the railway station. You should have considered leaving her at a police control station or at the comissioners office. Not all of them are bad. But keeping her at home is clearly not a good option. It gives the police a chance to harrass you for money.

[Vasu]

Are you kidding me? Do you really expect to find some 'home' in Hyderabad that shelters the helpless without expecting something in return?

Not may will do what you have done, because most of us are immune to these happenings. Everyday, we see kids in the role of garbage pickers, washers/cleaners in hotels, sleeping on the pavements etc etc... How many people we can help while struggling with our own lifes? The only occassion I remember having gone over the board was when I emptied my pocket (that was about 100 rupees, over 10 years ago).



The wish to do something for others is dead in most of the people, that's why we don't see so many things that happen here though our eyes are open. You have to blame the System ofcourse, no other way.

If everyone has an interest in taking the Indain Society to the next level, and if everyone gets actively involved then things would change. It's not easy and it takes generations.

In Indian System, I do not see any accountablity at any level, starting from Top to the Bottom. Take an example of what happened in Jordan. After the bomb blasts, several offcials resigned owning reponsibility. What about blasts in Delhi? And what about the recent Train disaster in AP? For this train accident, starting from Cabinet Minister and till the Guard, everyone should be sacked in a civilized society. But NO, nothing is going to happen, nothing is going to change.

The biggest problem with India lies with these Politicians. They think that THEY are the Government. Excuse me!, WE are the GOvernment, and not THEY. They are there to merely serve the populace. That's why they are called 'Public Servants'. Then how come every politician worth his salt, is among the top 1-2% of Indian population in terms of prosperity? None of these people are 'Public Servants'. Does any one of these Ministers or MLA/MPs remember that they are actually doing a JOB like the rest of us? It is a job like a Nurse or CLerk or a Collector. it's nothing more.

Politicians are actually thebiggest Mafia in the Country.Comapred to them these Dawood Ibrahim, Chota Rajan, Abu Salem gangs are kids. The loss caused by the politicians to this Country is a million times more than these gang lords.

Same with Babus i.e IAS, IPS etc... Corruption Corruption Corruption every where. We can not get anything done without paying a bribe. Having lived abroad for so many years, the Indian System really shocks me. Why do I need to pay a bribe? Everyone is getting their salaries, if the money is not enough for them, they should quit their jobs and start some business and there by make the money that they want. How can these people like eg. Police, can go home to their families after a day full of extortions & threats against the innocent people to extract money for their personal gain? These Police people can not touch the really bad elements in the Society. THEY CAN NOT. They are only after innocent people who by the turn of circumstances have done some mistake, or some petty thieves. Do we need this Police force? The Police in India is another mafia itself.



May be another 100 years we have to wait to see something happening. Just a may be.

[da-reverse-sting]

How about giving her shelter for a few days in one's own home. Dropping a girl off in the middle of the night at a railway station puts her in grave danger. Few act even as much as your family did when you saw her in trouble. So bravo for that. I just wish she reached home safe.

fully agree



ah...kudos to you gal

[RK]

Are you kidding me? Do you really expect to find some 'home' in Hyderabad that shelters the helpless without expecting something in return?
Not may will do what you have done, because most of us are immune to these happenings. Everyday, we see kids in the role of garbage pickers, washers/cleaners in hotels, sleeping on the pavements etc etc... How many people we can help while struggling with our own lifes? The only occassion I remember having gone over the board was when I emptied my pocket (that was about 100 rupees, over 10 years ago).

The wish to do something for others is dead in most of the people, that's why we don't see so many things that happen here though our eyes are open. You have to blame the System ofcourse, no other way.
If everyone has an interest in taking the Indain Society to the next level, and if everyone gets actively involved then things would change. It's not easy and it takes generations.
In Indian System, I do not see any accountablity at any level, starting from Top to the Bottom. Take an example of what happened in Jordan. After the bomb blasts, several offcials resigned owning reponsibility. What about blasts in Delhi? And what about the recent Train disaster in AP? For this train accident, starting from Cabinet Minister and till the Guard, everyone should be sacked in a civilized society. But NO, nothing is going to happen, nothing is going to change.
The biggest problem with India lies with these Politicians. They think that THEY are the Government. Excuse me!, WE are the GOvernment, and not THEY. They are there to merely serve the populace. That's why they are called 'Public Servants'. Then how come every politician worth his salt, is among the top 1-2% of Indian population in terms of prosperity? None of these people are 'Public Servants'. Does any one of these Ministers or MLA/MPs remember that they are actually doing a JOB like the rest of us? It is a job like a Nurse or CLerk or a Collector. it's nothing more.
Politicians are actually thebiggest Mafia in the Country.Comapred to them these Dawood Ibrahim, Chota Rajan, Abu Salem gangs are kids. The loss caused by the politicians to this Country is a million times more than these gang lords.
Same with Babus i.e IAS, IPS etc... Corruption Corruption Corruption every where. We can not get anything done without paying a bribe. Having lived abroad for so many years, the Indian System really shocks me. Why do I need to pay a bribe? Everyone is getting their salaries, if the money is not enough for them, they should quit their jobs and start some business and there by make the money that they want. How can these people like eg. Police, can go home to their families after a day full of extortions & threats against the innocent people to extract money for their personal gain? These Police people can not touch the really bad elements in the Society. THEY CAN NOT. They are only after innocent people who by the turn of circumstances have done some mistake, or some petty thieves. Do we need this Police force? The Police in India is another mafia itself.

May be another 100 years we have to wait to see something happening. Just a may be.

Remember the politicians emerged from our own society, they are not aliens who have come from a different planet to put us in a position like this. Everybody in our society is corrupted at their own level, we(you and me) are corrupted when we escape from the traffic police by giving him some 50 odd bucks instead of paying the full fine, and when we jump that traffic signal instead of waiting for the green light and when we give a few hundreds to the revenue officer to process our certificate faster and the list goes on .... it is only that the politicians are doing this at a level which falls into the media and hence the publics eye.



So if you want this to change it should definitey start at our level

-Pay the full fine to the traffic police and take the receipt instead of escaping with a few bucks

-stop till the green light at the traffic signal, even if the road is empty

-pay taxes fully instead of escaping by showing fake bills

-spend a part of your weekend working with a social organization

-don't waste water and don't use the plastic bags

-think and do how best can you be of help to the society while earning your own living from it

[Hyderabadi_Girl]

Hi all,



Thank you so much for your responses and the kind words (Akshay, Bela, Betty, Fullhyd, Mayavi, Da-Reverse-Sting).



Akshay, Bela, the girl was a rag-picker, so we were apprehensive about bringing her home.



Fullhyd, I'm sure you'll understand that many of us are working professionals or are studying and dropping her off at the time of departure of Chennai-bound train was not practical, given that we were all busy the next day. We did the best that we could given those circumstances.



Betty, Mayavi, you guys brought up pertinent points. I agree with Betty. Mayavi, the police force, unfortunately has an unenviable reputation and we didn't want to take any chances.



Vasu, society's not absolutely apathetic as you make it out to be. Like RK said, we can all make a difference, so what if its a small one.

[Confused HP]

Hydi_girl...you and your family deserve a pat on the back for your act. But there are a couple of questions that sprung to my mind while reading the incident and the follow-up here.



1. What happened to the man who was harrassing the girl? Does he just get away with a stern warning? And why did he just walk off after getting one? I mean it just doesn't add up.



2. How did the girl land up in hyd from chennai without anyone noticing any foul play? And what did she really tell you about herself? I mean, she being a rag-picker from chennai and then all of a sudden landing up here...this too doesn't add up.



I'm not spinning any conspiracy theories but could this be another way people have devised to con unsuspecting innocents?

[Akshay]

HP, following are my guesses as such incidences and kids are visible in our daily lives.



The idiot is just a coward. Such kind usually run away when someone dares to stand before them. In the twillight, on a highway, he is taking advantage of a rag picking teenage girl who couldn't converse in Telugu, that speaks tomes about his capability. But it takes character to notice such and stand up against it; as others have pointed out such people might turn out to be more evil some times.



Every time we go to the railway station we see dozens of ragpickers, trian-urchins (for lack of abetter word) travelling in the trains from city to city. No one cares about them. May be she is one of those unfortunate.





Hyderabadi_girl: You and your family are cool. Firstly, you standup against attrocity. Secondly, you help people when they are in trouble. Thirdly, you share this with others, which encourages others, and seek their opinions. And finally, you highlight positive points from every one and thank them. We need more hyderabadis like you. You have made one of the best entries on this board. Welcome and please join as a regular member.

[Hyderabadi_Girl]

Hydi_girl...you and your family deserve a pat on the back for your act. But there are a couple of questions that sprung to my mind while reading the incident and the follow-up here.

1. What happened to the man who was harrassing the girl? Does he just get away with a stern warning? And why did he just walk off after getting one? I mean it just doesn't add up.

2. How did the girl land up in hyd from chennai without anyone noticing any foul play? And what did she really tell you about herself? I mean, she being a rag-picker from chennai and then all of a sudden landing up here...this too doesn't add up.

I'm not spinning any conspiracy theories but could this be another way people have devised to con unsuspecting innocents?

Hi HP and Akshay,

The man kept insisting that he was the girl's husband (which was rubbish, considering that the girl was pleading with us to take her away). We told him we were taking her to a home near Clock Tower and he insisted that we give him the phone number of that place. Fortunately we didn't.

The guy definitely tried to tell us to leave them alone since she was his 'wife'. When he realised that he was up against people who wouldn't budge, he had no choice but to let her go. (By then we had already taken the girl in our car and as a last ditch effort he slapped her through the window. My dad got out of the car and returned the same in equal measure).



My parents are not fluent in tamil, though my mom knows a smattering of it. My mom gathered that the girl had come to Hyd for work (which made me wonder why because Chennai has opportunities for low paid jobs as well). Anyway, the girl said her mother was in Egmore. I used the term 'rag-picker' because her appearance suggested that (barefoot, touseled hair, old clothes etc).



Akshay, you are right 'coward' is the word for such men. Than you so much for the compliment but I just believe in 'what goes around comes around'. Its the age-old theory of karma and I swear by it. I've been helped on numerous occasions by strangers and in this case we were in a position to ease someone's discomfort. Am just glad we could pitch in.

[Hemanth]

Hyderabadi_gal, as all others say u and ur family have done a gr8 job but it's sad to c that the charity homes are still sticking to the formalities instead of helping the gals who r in that situation.



Let's all wish that one day there will be no such issues in India, and we all shall try our best to make this happen.



Once again, bravo hyderabadi_gal

[paris_dakar]

H_G, what you have done, im my view, is sensible. No matter how much you wan to help you gotta watch your back too, as some have pointed out already.



here's my 2 something to the idea of change ...change cannot be top down. we did not get freedom because the British had a change of herat suddenly. We learnt in Chemistry, to change A to B change has to occur at the molecular or even at he atomic level....now only if I can find my balls, i'd quit whining and stick it to the MAN...

[no_trust_in_ppl]

Hi Hyd_girl, u and ur parents did a great job.. it takes lot of courage to think about safety of a stranger . I used to be like that but somehow over the years and after many bitter experiences i have lost trust in people..but let me think.. First thing that I would have done is called the police .. and stay there and wait till they come.. take details like names and phone number of the police on duty (if they come) and leave because what if the girl and the man were on some kind of deal like a cheating/robbing .. and the guy was just getting nasty with her after they split their shares ? Why did'd she rasie alarm ? Its also possible that she's totally innocent .. but how did she end up in Hyd and in that situation ? I know of a servent girl who came to my friends house when she was 7 yrs old.. and by the time she was 13, she made some "friends" in the area and went off with them one fine day.. she was raped for 3 days and was left on the streets later.. she never opened her mouth about the rape it seems even though she was a kid (13 yrs) and she was sent back to her village... in this case, I am not sure if the girl was innocent or not.. she walked into trouble .. but she was only 13 ! I can never forget her face but sometimes I do not feel so sorry for her. Anyway in your case I bet the girl if she is alone .. is already been through "rough" time by now.. The city (or any other CITY in India) is not safe for women especially when they are alone . The probability of being attaked is more at night.. I heard "decent" girls don't go to tank bund or necklace road after 8:00 PM as u comments and in-tolerable looks from guys lingering around there..



Coming to the situation of the girl you helped, u did a good thing by not bringing her to your house,, You have to think about your safety first,, you will be inviting trouble if she is in some kind of a robbery gang, one of the members takes shelter and observe and later on hit the target . Think about your safety first ,..

[gyanster]

Good to see something of this sort still going on in India.

[Hyderabadi_Girl]

Thanks Hemanth and paris_dakar.



'No_trust_in_ppl', going to the cops was something we were not comfortable with because of their rotten reputation. And also, we were a family going home after a meal (that night) so going to a police station and waiting for formalities to be done was not something we were looking forward to.

There are all kinds of people in this world and I can empathise when you say that your trust in humanity has been shaken because of bad experiences. Don't let it affect you for too long because there are genuine cases out there.



Gyanster, 'something like this' has been going on for a long time now in India. Its just that not everyone would like to tom-tom their good deeds through virtual boards !

[bharatiyudu]

This is my first post in Full Hyd. Hyderabdi_Girl u r a real hyderabadi Kudos to you. Akshay and other person, sorry i couldnt remeber your id talked about Corruption. I dont know y the all the things end up at Corruption. I dont think corruption is the main cause but lazy and negligance attitude of us thats making us pay the price.

[smack]

Hyd_girl,



One solution could have been an ALL WOMAN POLICE STATION. Not that they are icons of virtue but then they are meant to take care of such incidents.



Not sure where they are located but I guess it is easy to find out by calling ocntrol room.