WTF???

[Brigitta]

I am seriously p!ssed off!



Today I met a 'friend' that I hadn't seen for several years, we used to share a flat together in London but when I finished my studies I moved up North and we haven't seen each other for about 5 years.



As she was here on work business we decided to meet up in the evening to catch up on old times and this is the way the conversation went:



'Oh My God! You're pregnant!'

'Um, yes I am'

'So who is the lucky man?'

'He's V****** he's wonderful I love him very much, and...'

'V***' what kind of a name is that?'

'Well he's Indian'

'Indian? Oh My God! You're in trouble!'

'Eh?'

'You know that their women have to walk behind them and obey them and you'll have to wear a veil over your face and won't be allowed to speak unless you are spoken too and he can control you. You won't be allowed to speak for yourself...'



I'm ashamed to admit that at that point I used some foul language and got overemotional and shouted abuse at her and left the restaurant.



How dare people make assumptions about a situation that they know nothing about? My fiance treats me like a princess! when I'm overemotional about getting 'fat' he tells me 'you aren't fat, you're keeping our baby warm. I think being pregnant is making me a bit wierd to be honest... I'm feeling so insecure.

[gyanster]

Yes, there is a wrong perception about India and Indians in the west. I am a guy, and whenever I tell my friends here in Australia that I will probably be getting married soon, they ask me if I have seen the girl yet and at what point after the wedding will I get to see the girl.



Also, there is a mix up with Indians and the middle-east customs where they think that Indians follow middle-east customs (like wearing a veil and all)...



But with girls like you it is changing... and that is good...

[Ustaad]

if i were you i'd tell them "not " to generalize People based on race..



not every Jew is a millionaire, not every Indian stinks or is an IT pro,

not every muslim is a terrorist, not every Brit in US sucks/ and is Gay,

not every Nigga is a Gangsta/Pimp, not every Russian is insecure ,

not every Gujju is stingy/penny pinching, not every bramhin preaches at the temple...





I would just laugh and walk away from the "know he/she not's".. for their ignorance..



you just can't change them.



If you cannot

[Arch]

'Oh My God! You're pregnant!'
'Um, yes I am'
'
My fiance treats me like a princess! when I'm overemotional about getting 'fat' he tells me 'you aren't fat, you're keeping our baby warm. I think being pregnant is making me a bit wierd to be honest... I'm feeling so insecure.

Hey. I am a wife and a mother, so, maybe I can be of some help to you here



Being pregnant will surely make you feel weird. Harmones go crazy on us- (now and after the delivery too.) That is what is making you feel weird?



Maybe not yet being married to the father of your child is what is making you feel insecured?



One of the most joyous moments is seeing your child for the first time and then onwards .If you are secured, comfortable, at peace, healthy.. you and your husband will enjoy these moments the most along with your growing child and into the future. BTW,as is so w/ any culture, most Indian men are wonderful, ofcourse, there are jerks too. Hopefully you chose that wonderful man to mother your child with, rather than that jerk.



Happy pushing.

[Cragg]

Everyone Is Entitled To My Opinion



WTF no opinion ????/



sorry no comments

[Brigitta]

Oh it was just ridiculous! My ex boyfriend was Muslim, (Turkish) and even though he was white we got much more prejudice then, simply bcz of his religion. I'm not even going to start on how ignorant some people can be... When we went to visit his family I decided to wear a veil over my hair when we met with his father. Nobody told me too, but his dad was elderly and religious and lived in a small village and it was just a gesture of respect. When we got the photo's developed back home tho you should have seen the reaction! I'm not even going to go there – total ignorance!



I agree there is a lot of misconceptions about Indians in the West. People think that Indian men try to control their wives and tell them what to wear, what to say, what they can and can't do... I've never seen any evidence of that myself. I only know one other non-Indian woman who is married to an Indian man (my midwife) and although I don't know her very well (yet) she certainly doesn't seem like the type to be dominated, controlled or bullied. None of my female Indian friends seem to have any problem standing up for themselves either! If anything I'd say that they are more independent and self-assured than their Western sisters!



Arch, yes I am a bit insecure about not being married. Nothing to do with him or me but how society might see us really. To be honest we didn't plan on becoming parents before we were married, we planned to get married first but due to this 'happy accident' we have had to delay the wedding to concentrate on one thing at a time!

[gyanster]

Briggita, tell your Anglo sisters about us Indians.. then we will have more dates to choose from.

[Cragg]

I think we need more anglo girls in hyd , then even guys will have lot of choices ,



enuff of these medieval..................



What say guyz

[Sharjeel]

You seem to be a very strong willed lady. Bash on, regardless.



There will be idiots on both sides of the fence, and some on the fence, but if you ignore them, they generally take off to find an easier target.

[ustaad]

I agree there is a lot of misconceptions about Indians in the West. People think that Indian men try to control their wives and tell them what to wear, what to say, what they can and can't do... I've never seen any evidence of that myself.

damn right you are..

not all Indian men are control freaks..

most indian men act bossy though. Maybe, because they donot want their freinds or family thinking they are 'pussfied' or 'sissified', in any way.



i know its not justified behavior.



Although, western culture has taught me to respect women equally..sometimes, the indian in me comes out and i donot like to be stepped all over and mostly i stick up for myself and "donot" take shit because someones giving it free.. you know what i mean.

[gyanster]

So, you have been to US and changed? Which means, if you were living in India you would not respect women the way you do now? Is that what you re trying to say? Just clarifying what you said..