Disgusting jokes

[Cragg]

This joke seemed inappropriate to be posted under the topic Interesting jokes. SO had to start a new topic. I hope no one adds to this Topic

[Cragg]

Gas that does not smell



An elderly woman goes to the doctor.

She says, "Doc, it's terrible, I pass gas all the time. Fortunately, it's odorless and silent, otherwise I'd be mortified. For example, I've passed gas ten times just since we've been talking, but it's odorless and silent so you can't tell."

The doctor gives her some green pills and tells her to take one a day and come back in a week.



The woman comes back after taking the pills for a week.

She says, "Doc, there's been a change but not for the better. I still pass gas all the time, but while it's still silent, now it smells terrible!"



The doctor says, "Well, I'm glad we cleared up your sinus blockage, now we'll have to work on your hearing."

[Fun Kay]

he he

[Fun Kay]

HE HE

[Cragg]

HE HE

That isnt disgusting that is annoying

[Fun Kay]

HE HE

That isnt disgusting that is annoying

And ur joke wasn't disgusting either...it was hilarious! hence my laughter

[Cragg]

HE HE

That isnt disgusting that is annoying

And ur joke wasn't disgusting either...it was hilarious! hence my laughter

Thats some encouragement

[Fun Kay]

HE HE

That isnt disgusting that is annoying

And ur joke wasn't disgusting either...it was hilarious! hence my laughter

Thats some encouragement

Got any more of 'em? Who's that in ur avatar? Jack Sparrow?

[Cragg]

HE HE

That isnt disgusting that is annoying

And ur joke wasn't disgusting either...it was hilarious! hence my laughter

Thats some encouragement

Got any more of 'em? Who's that in ur avatar? Jack Sparrow?

yup he luks a lot like me if his hair are cut short.

[Cragg]

Did you hear about the doctor who wrote out a prescription in the usual doctor's fashion?

The patient used it for two years as a railroad pass.



Twice it got him into Radio City Music Hall, and once into Yankee Stadium.



It came in handy as a letter from his employer to the cashier to increase his salary.



And to top it off, his daughter played it on the piano and won a scholarship to the Curtis Music Conservatory

[Fun Kay]

Did you hear about the doctor who wrote out a prescription in the usual doctor's fashion?
The patient used it for two years as a railroad pass.

Twice it got him into Radio City Music Hall, and once into Yankee Stadium.

It came in handy as a letter from his employer to the cashier to increase his salary.

And to top it off, his daughter played it on the piano and won a scholarship to the Curtis Music Conservatory

Wats so disgusting abt this?

[Cragg]

Did you hear about the doctor who wrote out a prescription in the usual doctor's fashion?
The patient used it for two years as a railroad pass.

Twice it got him into Radio City Music Hall, and once into Yankee Stadium.

It came in handy as a letter from his employer to the cashier to increase his salary.

And to top it off, his daughter played it on the piano and won a scholarship to the Curtis Music Conservatory

Wats so disgusting abt this?

it wuda have been if u were a Dr instead of S/w prof



then over to S/W profs

[Cragg]

President Clinton was to represent the United States of America on a highly formal, orchestrated "state visit" to Great Britain. Air Force One stopped at a bright red carpet along which the President strode to join Queen Elizabeth II in a beautiful, ornate 17th-century coach hitched to 6 enormous matched white horses. The coach proceeded through the streets en route to Buckingham Palace, the President and the Queen alternating between exchanging pleasantries and waving each out their respective windows to the cheering throngs. At one point, the right rear horse produced a thunderous, cataclysmic fart that reverberated through the air and rattled the doors of the coach.



Presidents and Queens are, first and foremost, human beings. Their first reaction was to focus their attentions outside their respective windows, and behave as if nothing extraordinary had happened. The Queen, steeped in decades of experience living with the mundane and bazaar together, was the first to realize that ignoring what had happened was ridiculous.



"Mr. President, please accept my regrets - - - I'm sure you understand that there are some things that even a Queen cannot control."



"Your Majesty, please don't give the matter another thought; why, if you hadn't said something, I would have thought it was one of the horses."

[Fun Kay]

Did you hear about the doctor who wrote out a prescription in the usual doctor's fashion?
The patient used it for two years as a railroad pass.

Twice it got him into Radio City Music Hall, and once into Yankee Stadium.

It came in handy as a letter from his employer to the cashier to increase his salary.

And to top it off, his daughter played it on the piano and won a scholarship to the Curtis Music Conservatory

Wats so disgusting abt this?

it wuda have been if u were a Dr instead of S/w prof

then over to S/W profs

ma dads a doc...and stil neither of us found it offending!

[Fun Kay]

President Clinton was to represent the United States of America on a highly formal, orchestrated "state visit" to Great Britain. Air Force One stopped at a bright red carpet along which the President strode to join Queen Elizabeth II in a beautiful, ornate 17th-century coach hitched to 6 enormous matched white horses. The coach proceeded through the streets en route to Buckingham Palace, the President and the Queen alternating between exchanging pleasantries and waving each out their respective windows to the cheering throngs. At one point, the right rear horse produced a thunderous, cataclysmic fart that reverberated through the air and rattled the doors of the coach.

Presidents and Queens are, first and foremost, human beings. Their first reaction was to focus their attentions outside their respective windows, and behave as if nothing extraordinary had happened. The Queen, steeped in decades of experience living with the mundane and bazaar together, was the first to realize that ignoring what had happened was ridiculous.

"Mr. President, please accept my regrets - - - I'm sure you understand that there are some things that even a Queen cannot control."

"Your Majesty, please don't give the matter another thought; why, if you hadn't said something, I would have thought it was one of the horses."

OMG!!! That was hilarious!!!

[Cragg]

A man shopping in a supermarket brought his purchase of two cans of dog food to the checkout counter. The cashier asked, "Sir, do you have a dog?"

"Yes." replied the man.

"Well, where is it?" asked the cashier.

"I left him home." he answered.

"Sorry," the cashier said, "You can't buy the dog food if I can't see the dog. That's the rules."





The next day he returned to the store and brought some cat food to the checkout.

"Do you have a cat?" asked the cashier.

"Yes," he said, "but I left him home."

"Sorry," she said, "If I can't see the cat, I can't sell you the food. That's the rules."



The next day the man walked into the store with a brown paper bag. He walked up to the cashier and said,

"Here. Put your hand in here."

The cashier put her hand in and said, "It's soft and warm. What is it?"



The man replied, "Well I'd like to have three rolls of toilet paper!"

[Cragg]

Disgusting Logic







Zail Singh decided to appear for the MBA exam but he failed to understand Logic. One day when he was studying, Rajiv came to visit him.

Rajiv: Zail Singhji, how is your MBA preparation going?

Zail: Every thing is fine, except I cannot understand Logic.

Rajiv: Logic is very easy.

Zail: Can you give me an example?

Rajiv: Okay. Do you have a fish pot in your house?

Zail: Yes.

Rajiv: Logically, there will be water in it.

Zail: Right.

Rajiv: Logically, there will be fish in it.

Zail nods his head in agreement.

Rajiv: Logically, someone will be feeding the fish.

Zail: Yes.

Rajiv: I guess your wife will be feeding the fish.

Zail nods his head again.

Rajiv: So, logically, you are married.

Zail: Yes.

Rajiv: So, that means you are a heterosexual.

Zail Singh felt elated that he understood Logic and thanked Rajiv. Next day he met Bhuta Singh who was also preparing for MBA.

Zail: How is your MBA preparation going?

Bhuta: Everything is fine except for Logic.

Zail: Oh, Logic is easy.

Bhuta: Please, give me an example.

Zail: Do you have a fish pot in your house?

Bhuta: No, I don't.

Zail: Saala homo!

[Fun Kay]

he he

[Fun Kay]

HE HE

[Cragg]

HE HE

Did ya mistake this with the shameless Thread????????

[Fun Kay]

HE HE

Did ya mistake this with the shameless Thread????????

na re...that's the way i laugh...in 2 spurts...thought u wudda figured that out by now!

[Cragg]

figured

[Cragg]

out

[Fun Kay]

smart

[Fun Kay]

fella