Joke of the day

[Chahat]

Pappu, while filling up a form: dad, what should i write for

Mother tongue.?

Santa: very long!

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Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.

The judge: What'll you take 30 days or rs 3000.

Santa: I think i'll take the money.

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Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever:



- What comes first - the chicken or the egg?

O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!



----------

- Chahat



You can find lots of Happy Mother's Day SMS here:

http://www.SMSFunOnline.com

[Chahat]

Seeing santa singh depressed one of his friends asks him.



"Oye why r u sad?"

....To which santa replies ..."I lost 300 rs in bet."

... His friend ask hims..."How?"

Santa singh says.."I bet on india for rs 200...But unfortunately india lost"

His friend queries.."But u said 300 rs..."

Santa singh answers..."I again bet for india for rs 100 in the highlights of the match"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Santa and banta find three hand grenades and decide to take them to the police station.

"What if one of them explodes before we get there?" Asks banta.

"Don’t worry about it," says santa. "We’ll just lie and tell them we only found two."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Santa and banta jungle mein

Saamne aayaa sher

Banta ne sher ki aakhon main matthi phenki

Aur bhaagne lagaa aur santa ko bhi bhaagne ko kahaa

Santa:main kyun bhaagu matthi to tune phenki hai!!!



----------

- Chahat



Mother's Day's coming near. Send Mother's Day Greetings to your mother:

http://www.SMSFunOnline.com

[Chahat]

A single guy decides life would be more fun if he had a pet. He

went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy

an unusual pet.



After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede (100-legged

bug), which came in a little white box to use for its house.

He took the box back home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would



start off by taking his new pet to church with him.



He asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to

church with me today? We will have a good time."



But there was no answer from his new pet.



This bothered him a bit, so he waited a few minutes and then

asked him again,

"How about going to church with me and receive blessings?"



But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet. He

waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation.



He decided to ask him one more time. This time putting his face

up against the centipede's house and shouting,

"Hey, in there! Would you like to go to church with me and learn about the Lord?"



A little teeny voice came out of the box... "I heard you the

first time! I'm putting on my shoes."



----------

- Chahat



If u are an unemployee then Here is a: Vacancy Announcement For Job

http://www.JokesDuniya.com

[Chahat]

Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.

His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.



Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.



Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker.

He had gotten into trouble at school and at home.



Bobby's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday.

Little Bobby, of course, thought he did.

Bobby's mother wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the last year.

Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year.

Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday.

Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.





************ **





Letter 1





Dear God,



I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday.



I want a red one.



Your friend,



Bobby





************ **





Bobby knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year,



So he tore up the letter and started over.





************ **





Letter 2





Dear God,





This is your friend Bobby. I have been a good boy this year and I would like



A red bike for my birthday. Thank you.





Your friend,



Bobby





************ **





Bobby knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore up the letter and started again.





************ **





Letter 3





Dear God,





I have been an OK boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my birthday.





Bobby





************ **





Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Bobby wrote a fourth letter.





************ **





Letter 4





God,





I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry.



I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday.



Please! Thank you,





Bobby





************ **





Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike.



Now, Bobby was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he wanted to go to church.



Bobby's mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby looked very sad.



Just be home in time for dinner, Bobby's mother told him.





Bobby walked down the street to the church on the corner.



Little Bobby went into the church and up to the altar.



He looked around to see if anyone was there.







Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the Mary.





He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room.





He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen.





Bobby began to write his letter to God.





************ **





Letter 5





God,





I'VE KIDNAPPED YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE!!!!!!



----------

- Chahat



Mother's Day's coming near. Send Mother's Day Greetings to your mother:

http://www.SMSFunOnline.com

[Chahat]

Santa and banta were looking at mummy in an egyptian museum

Santa: bechara! Pattiyan hi pattiyan lagi hain...

Kitne chotein lagi hain isko..

Zaroor truck accident mein mara hoga...

Banta: haan, truck ka number bhi likha hai

:- A.D. 1460





1st Gadha(2nd gadhe se):- Yaaar mera dhobi meri bahoot pitai karta hai...bahoot maaarta hai mujhe;

2nd Gadha:- to yaaar, tu bhaaag kyun nahin jaata hai wahan se.



1st :- Nahin yaaar mein nahin bhaaag sakta hoon;



2nd :- Kyun?



.











.



1st:- Yaaar, dhobi ki ek bahoot sundar ladki hai, jab bhi wo koi shararat karti hai, to dhobi kehta hai usse, Teri shadi kisssi Gadhe se karwa doonga, bas wahin soch kar rook jaaata hoon!



----------

- Chahat



Try This New Exciting Game Surfing On The Field

http://www.JokesDuniya.com

[krishna]

fine joke

[Chahat]

Santa sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a bystander as to why are the guys doing what they are doing the bystander a marathon race is going on.



Sardar : what do they get from that?



Bystander : the winner will get a prize



Sardar : then why are the others running?!



----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Saas: saat saal ke baad bachcha paida kiya woh bhi ladki

Bahu: agar aapke bete ke bharose rahti toh yeh bhi nahin hoti



----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Santa : 'have you ever heard of the suez canal?'



Banta : 'yes, i have'



Santa : 'well, my father dug it.'



Banta : 'that's nothing, have you ever heard of dead sea?'



Santa : 'yes, i have.'



Banta : 'well, my father killed it.'



----------

- Chahat



Email funny sms shayari to your friends:

http://www.SMSFunOnline.com

[Chahat]

SARDAR APNI SISTER KE SAATH BIKE PE JA RAHA THA.

BOY: OH! PAAJI GIRLFRIEND K SAATH KAHA JA RAHE HO



SARDAR: OYE ! GIRLFRIEND HOGI TERI MERI TO SISTER HAI.



----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1ST SARDAR : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green

andone is blue with red spots!



2ND SARDAR: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at

home.



----------

- Chahat



Boost is the secret of my energy

http://www.JokesDuniya.com

[Chahat]

An Indian dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.

He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here?"

He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on.

He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.

Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?"

He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

"But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?"

"Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the canteen..."



----------

- Chahat



Have fun with your friends by sending funny friendship sms:

http://www.SMSFunOnline.com

[Chahat]

A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.



"He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied. The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?"



----------

- Chahat



It may be dangerous for u Please don't try this

http://www.JokesDuniya.com

[Chahat]

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy.



Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:



Dear Dad,



It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom.



I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am but it's not only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant.



Joan says that we are going to be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.



Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.



In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!



Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.



Your son, Chad



P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my desk drawer.



I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.



Jack had to force himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in Lipstick:



"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"



He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... What happened last night?"



"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.



Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"



His son replies, "Oh THAT! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!"



Broken Coffee Table $239.99

Hot Breakfast $4.20

Two Aspirins $.38

Saying the right thing, at the right time. . . PRICELESS!!!



----------

- Chahat



You could be wrong because: Your thought could be wrong

http://www.JokesDuniya.com

[Chahat]

1) It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. "What are my choices?" John asked. "Yes or no," she replied.



2) A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."



3) A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."



4) The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.



5) A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, " Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."



----------

- Chahat



Need sms love poems? Click here

[Chahat]

A guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one spend eternity in. In the first room, people are standing in shit up to their necks.



The guy says "no, let me see the next room." In the second room, people are standing with shit up to their noses. Guy says no again.



Finally, Satan opens the door to the third room. People are standing with shit up to their knees, drinking coffee and eating danish pastries.



The guy says, "I pick this room." Satan says okay and starts to leave, and the guy wades in and starts pouring some coffee.

On the way out Satan yells, "O.K., coffee break's over. Everyone back on your heads!"



----------

- Chahat



Nowadays snakes are also taking: Trainging Classes

http://www.JokesDuniya.com

[Chahat]

A petty thief, a teacher and a lawyer die and go to heaven.



When they get there they are stopped by St. Peter, who then says, "Sorry, heaven's crowding up, so you need to answer a question correctly, or else you can't get in."



He looks at the teacher, and asks her: "What was the name of the famous ocean-liner that sank after hitting an iceberg?" "Oh, that's easy," the teacher replied, "the Titanic." So St. Peter let her into heaven.



Next he turned to the petty thief. "How many people died on that ship?" St. Peter asked. "Oooh, that's tough, but I saw the movie, and it was 1, 500." St. Peter stepped away and the thief walked into heaven.



Finally, St. Peter turned to the lawyer. He simply said to him: "Name them."









----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



A man wakes up in a hospital bed after a terrible accident and cries - "DOC, DOC...I can't feel my legs, I can't feel my legs!!!



"Well of course you can't silly!", replies the Doc... "I've cut off both of your arms."



----------

- Chahat



Email funny sms shayari to your friends:

http://www.SMSFunOnline.com

[Chahat]

While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people.



Bush asks how she knows if they're intelligent.



"I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate."



Bush watches as the Queen phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question: your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"



Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am."



"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"



Bush nods: "Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"



Bush, upon returning to Washington, decides he'd better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. Bush summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, "Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."



"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"



Bush poses the question: "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"



Helms hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?"



Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. He immediately calls a meeting of other senior Republican senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem.



"Now look here, son, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"



Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course."



Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House, finds George Bush, and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!"



And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, it's Tony Blair!"



----------

- Chahat



Check out these funny and rude sms

http://www.SMSFunOnline.com

[Chahat]

This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a mcdonald's fast-food establishment in florida... And they hired him because he was so honest and funny!



Name: greg bulmash



Sex: not yet. Still waiting for the right person.



Desired position: company's president or vice president. But seriously, whatever's available. If i was in a position to be picky, i wouldn't be applying here in the first place.



Desired salary: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a michael ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.



Education: yes.



Last position held: target for middle management hostility.



Salary: less than i'm worth.



Most notable achievement: my incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.



Reason for leaving: it sucked.



Hours available to work: any.



Preferred hours: 1:30-3:30 p.M., Monday, tuesday, and thursday.



Do you have any special skills?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.



May we contact your current employer?: If i had one, would i be here?



Do you have any physical conditions that would prohibit you from lifting up to 50 lbs?: Of what?



Do you have a car?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "do you have a car that runs?"



Have you received any special awards or recognition?: I may already be a winner of the publishers clearing house sweepstakes.



Do you smoke?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.



What would you like to be doing in five years?: Living in the bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks i'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, i'd like to be doing that now.



Do you certify that the above is true and complete to the best of your knowledge?: Yes. Absolutely.



Sign here: aries.



----------

- Chahat



See These: Cats Swinging

http://www.JokesDuniya.com

[Chahat]

According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.



That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Finally the principal decided that there had to be something done about it.



She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She then explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day.



To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the custodian to clean one of the mirrors.



He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it into the toilet and then used it to clean the mirror. Needless to say, there have been no lip prints on the mirror since!



----------

- Chahat



Have fun with your friends by sending funny friendship sms:

http://www.SMSFunOnline.com

[Chahat]

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms.



"Now, class. Observe closely the worms," said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be.



The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.



"Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" the professor asked.



Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms."



----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son.

They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.

The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.

He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.

He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?"

The wife smiled sweetly and replied, "! Not this time!"



----------

- Chahat



Here is the best solution for: If Petrol Runs Out

http://www.JokesDuniya.com

[Chahat]

A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the wife awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.



The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.



The wife cried, "What are we going to do?"



"Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."



----------

- Chahat



Father's Day is coming near ... send Father's Day SMS to your father:

http://www.SMSFunOnline.com

[Chahat]

A disappointed for Coca Cola returns from his Middle East

assignment.



A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?"

The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very

confident that I would makes a good sales as Coke is virtually unknown there.



But, I had a problem; I didn't know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through 3 posters...

First poster: a man crawling through the hot desert sand... totally

exhausted and panting. Second poster: the man is drinking Coke and Third: our man is now totally refreshed. Then these posters were pasted all over the place"

"That should have worked," said the friend.



The salesman replied, " Well, not only did I not speak Arabic, I also didn't

realize that Arabs read from right to left..."



----------

- Chahat



Email friendship sms messages to your friends:

http://www.SMSFunOnline.com

[Chahat]

IT IS NOT A STORY BUT A TRUE INCIDENT THAT HAPPENED IN AMERICA.





An Indian man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to India on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.



The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Indian man hands over the keys and documents of new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.



The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Indian for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.



Two weeks later, the Indian returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest,

which comes to $15.41.The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely,

but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow "$5,000" ?



The Indian replies:

"Where else in New York City can I park my car

for two weeks for only $15.41

and expect it to be there when I return'"



Ah, the mind of the Indian...



----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



An IT Husband



Starting the day with a conversation between a wife and a husband who happens to be a software engineer.

Husband Returning late from work) "Good Evening Dear, I'm now logged in."

Wife :Have you brought the grocery?

Husband :Bad command or filename.

Wife :But I told you in the morning

Husband :Erroneous syntax. Abort?

Wife :What about my new TV?

Husband :Variable not found ...

Wife :At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do some shopping.

Husband :Sharing Violation. Access denied...

Wife o you love me or do you only love computers or are you just being funny?

Husband :Too many parameters ...

Wife :It was a great mistake that I married an idiot like you.

Husband ata type mismatch.

Wife :You are useless.

Husband :It's by Default.

Wife :What about your Salary?

Husband :File in use ... Try after some time.

Wife :What is my value in the family.

Husband :Unknown Virus.



----------

- Chahat



Father's Day is coming near ... send Father's Day SMS to your father:

http://www.SMSFunOnline.com

[Chahat]

Officer: What Is Your Name?

Candidate: M P. Sir



Officer: Tell Me Properly

Candidate: Mohan Pal Sir



Officer: Your Father's Name?

Candidate: M P. Sir



Officer: What Does That Mean?

Candidate: Manmohan Pal Sir



Officer: Your Native Place

Candidate: M P. Sir



Officer: Is It Madhya Pradesh?

Candidate: No, Munnur Pal Sir



Officer: What Is Your Qualification?

Candidate: M P. Sir



Officer: (angrily) What Is It?

Candidate: Metric Pass



Officer: Why Do You Need A Job?

Candidate: M P. Sir



Officer: And What Does That Mean?

Candidate: Money Problem Sir



Officer: Describe Your Personality

Candidate: M P. Sir



Officer: Explain Yourself Clearly

Candidate: Magnanimous Personality Sir



Officer: This Discussion Is Nowhere, You May Go Now

Candidate: M P. Sir



Officer: What Is It Now

Candidate: My Performance. ..



Officer: Mp!!!

Candidate: What Is That Sir?



Officer: Mental Problems



----------

- Chahat



Read this Very Funny Joke

http://www.JokesDuniya.com

[Chahat]

6 weeks: I love U, I love U, I love U

6 months: Of course I love U

6 years: GOD, if I didn't love U, then why the hell did I propose?



Back from Work:



6 weeks: Honey, I'm home

6 months: BACK!!

6 years: What did your mom cook for us today??



Gifts:

6 weeks: Honey, I really hope you liked the ring

6 months: I bought you a painting; it would fit the motif in the living Room

6 years: Here's the money. Buy yourself something



Phone Ringing:

6 weeks: Baby, somebody wants you on the phone

6 months: Here, for you

6 years: PHONE RINGING



Cooking:

6 weeks: I never knew food could taste so good!

6 months: What are we having for dinner tonight?

6 years: AGAIN!!!!



Apology:

6 weeks: Honey muffin, don't you worry, Ill never hold this against you

6 months: Watch out! Don't do it again

6 years: What's not to understand about what I just said??



New Dress:

6 weeks: Oh my God, you look like an angel in that dress

6 months: You bought a new dress again???

6 years: How much did THAT cost me?



Planning for Vacations:

6 weeks: How do 2 weeks in Vienna or anywhere you please sound??

6 months: What's so bad about going to Istanbul on a charter plane?

6 years: Travel? What's so bad about staying home???



TV:



6 weeks: Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?

6 months: I like this movie

6 years: I'm going to watch ESPN, if you're not in the mood, go to Bed, I can stay up by myself !!



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- Chahat



Father's Day is coming near ... send Father's Day SMS to your father:

http://www.SMSFunOnline.com

[Chahat]

Annual Idiot Awards for the year 2006





Number One Idiot of 2006

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.

Here's your award, lady. Wear it with pride.





Number Two Idiot of 2006

Early this year, some airline employees on the airfield decided to Steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locater beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed with the airline.

Here's your award, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.





Number Three Idiot of 2006

A true story out of San Francisco : A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America , walked into the branch and wrote "this is a stickup. Put all your muny in this bag" While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo . After waiting a Few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller.

She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the street told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was Arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America .

Don't bother with this guy's award. He probably couldn't read it anyway.





Number four Idiot of 2006

Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a brick through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the brick and heaved it over his head at the window. The brick bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Flexible Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.

Oh, that's smart. Give him his award.





Number Five Idiot of 2006

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag,the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21. The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

This guy definitely needs an award!





Idiot Number Six of 2006

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.

The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him This guy doesn't need an award, he probably figured it out himself.



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- Chahat



This happens when you Work very hard

http://www.JokesDuniya.com

[Chahat]

Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box.



The inspector decides to give Tom a pop quiz, asking: "What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading towards each other on the same track?"



Tom says: "I would switch one train to another track."

"What if the lever broke?" asks the inspector.

"Then I'd run down to the tracks and use the manual lever down there", answers Tom.



"What if that had been struck by lightning?" challenges the inspector.

"Then," Tom continued, "I'd run back up here and use the phone to call the next signal box."

"What if the phone was busy?"

"In that case," Tom argued, "I'd run to the street level and use the public phone near the station".

"What if that had been vandalized?"

"Oh well," said Tom, "in that case I would run into town and get my Uncle Leo".

This puzzled the inspector, so he asked, "Why would you do that?"

"Because he's never seen a train crash."



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- Chahat



Collection of good Father's Day SMS Messages

http://www.SMSFunOnline.com