Eve teasing

[sunkita]

The weakers sex is not only exploited, but also teased and tortured... These guys do not even spare the two wheelers on busy roads... And in offices women are harassed even physically, and fearing losing their jobs, they keep quiet.

Obscene posters and cinemas, and cybercafes exposing all kinds of websites instigating the young minds... Can\'t firewalls be put to cut these sites???

Hyderabad, please wake up! Let us have our culture...

[The Crackednut]

Whoa!! let\'s take it slowly, sis! you seem to be pretty worked up about something here. Yes! it is true that the weaker sex have been exploited for all the wrong reasons.you know the reason why? b\'cos they like to call themselves the \"weaker\" sex. Women just like to keep their heads down while all sorts of filth flies around them. One argument is that they were brought up that way. They don\'t do anything about the injustice meted out to them, b\'cos some nanny some 50 years ago told them not to. What i\'ve got here is a pretty personal opinion and need not agree with yours. For too much time ppl have been looking at themselves not as humans, but more as a man/woman or a higher/lower caste or white/coloured and other such superfluous identities. I guess it\'s time we look at ourselves as individuals rather than in terms of a community. In case an injustice has taken place with a person, they start to take self-pity and cajole themseleves b\'cos they\'re women or b\'cos they\'re from a lower caste etc. when things go bad, get yor head straight and REVOLT!! in the words of Bob Marley - \"Stand up for your Right!\". ---(next para)--- what\'s all this about obscenity in movies and posters, now?? it\'s been going on for a long time and surely will go on. you want to know why? b\'cos SEX SELLS! you wabt to attract dumb-headed frontbenchers to your movie, make sure you have a lots of revealing stuff. Sadly, nothing can be done about it. But once again, why look at it only in \"woman-are-losers\" viewpoint. when there are rain sequences in a movie aren\'t the heroes also exposing? and if you would prefer, take a look at a chap called Salman Khan. he\'s exposing his flesh to the maximum. anybody complaining? no. infact, he\'s set a trend for similar minded(??) kids all across the country. Coming to the next issue, since 1999 Internet cafes in hyd started having cabins when they realised it was their best bet to lure in ppl. Kids right from 13 years can tell you which sites are the best. Unfortunately in this society, there are certain moral values one can bend to gain that extra money. You have rightly raised an important issue about cyber-cafes. But sadly, i just feel there is nothing that can be done about it!!

[hardc0der]

Well, whatever CrackedNut said was right, and let me add something more to what he said. Indian women say that they are equal and need equality, blah blah, and at the same time, they want reservations for seats into professional courses, jobs, etc. They want menfolk to vacate seats for them in buses and other public places \"just because they are women\". As far as eve teasing is concerned, what do the Indian women do regarding this? Just ignore the eve teaser? Do they have to stop at that because they are the weaker sex? If they think they need to stand up for their rights and do something about it, then thats great. But that rarely happens, and all that they do is sit at home and do nothing, while other girls are being harassed outside at the same time.
If you girls seriously want to do something about this, then do something. I mean do something that would make eve-teasers shudder the next time they think about teasing a girl. Don\'t just create new message postings, post a few messages and forget it and hope that since you are safe, thats all that matters. Do something that would make life easier on the roads.

[Faheem]

Hardcoder and Cracketnut, I couldn\'t agree more with your opinions. Why don\'t you both or someone even outlines the steps girls can take to stand up to this? I mean how to achieve what we are hoping for?

[Faheem]

Posters, cinemas and web-sites are the real culprits. I know this will promt some moderate thoughts and thats the last discussion I will get into. But, I strongly believe that dirty minds today are the result of meterial that one should never be watching.
And yes firewalls, proxies and content specific tools can be installed for filtering ill sites. But I tell you those will be the last things cyber-cafes will spend money on.

[Jyothi]

guys in Hyd are dis.......they don\'t have any respect for women.

[friend_raghu]

jyothi,
donnbe crazy. all the guys are not like. it\'s women who try to attract men at first instance. then based on their \'status\' they decide their fate. here is one thing i can suggest to curb such evil, work with men with a strong will so as to revolt any such indident. dont consider yourself weak. you\'r as good as men. there is nothing that can stop you. give a look to yourself as \'fearfull\' not as \'fancyfull\'. try to be collective in your action.you will find nice men too. take them into your confidence. instead of complaining. take action wisely. give them a lesson. good luck.

[hardcoder]

Yeah Faheem, as you know, this is a problem that needs to be solved by society and this can be done by educating them at a young age. The Indian society always keeps stressing on `son\'s education and daughter\'s marriage`. I\'ve seen in many Indian families that more importance is given to the boy child than treating both the male and female children as equal. As the boy child grows up, he thinks that he is superior than the girl child and he tries to show his \'superiority\' by dominating over her (it may be his sister or girlfriend or even his mother) and this continues down the line and is carried on to the next generation. And yeah, movies play a vital role in eve-teasing, where many times you see the hero tease the heroine and they fall in love later on, but this is a rare situation in real life, and is NOT the foundation for a healthy relationship.
To deal with eve-teasers as of now, this is something we have to do whether the victim is related to us or not. Remember that if we choose to ignore someone being harassed today, our sister or mother could be harassed at the same time elsewhere. First of all, treat all eve-teasing cases as if it is happening to your loved ones. Don\'t take it lying down, instead drag the eve-teaser to the nearest police station and get a complaint booked. This way, we can at least make sure the eve-teaser at least reduces his sadistic pleasures to some extent, if not totally.

[hardc0der]

Actually what Jyothi said is true most of the time. There are definitely nice guys around, but they are very few in number. At the same time, I would say that Hyderabadi girls are very rude too, and this is not just my observation, but the observations made by my non-Hyderabadi friends who lived in Hyderabad for a few years. Here in the US, many of my non-Indian friends actually wondered if I am really from Hyderabad, because most of the Hyderabadi guys they met were very rude, sarcastic and and the general impression they got was that all Hyderabadis are rude. I had to convince them that there are some Hyderabadis who are NOT rude. Its time Hyderabadis learnt to be a little more polite in general, whether they are old or young, and irrespective of gender.

[hiall]

Jyothi N Sankita .....Can u please tell me ... how many people have teased u ..harassed u?

[The Crackednut]

My oh, MY! lots of ppl seem to be in womens\' rights these days. It\'s a good sign, tho. i sincerely expected some college-humour level response. more and more ppl are opening,out in a very civilised way, to talk about gender discrimination. Sankita started a really interesting topic. Ironically the only girl who replied, shot out a one-liner. And the only ppl left talking about women\'s rights are the Males! But seriously, what the girls should do is to stand up and actually tackle the issue head on. Let me give you a certain example which i had seen with my own eyes and could practically happen anywhere in the city. A group of girls got down from the bus and headed to their college. Predictably, lots of boys all around to oggle at them. When they saw a girl dressed in a clean white salwar-kameez, one of the boys shouted \"Aaya Naya Ujaala!!\". Instantly, the girl shot back- \"Surf Excel Hai na!!\". Everyone all around giggled. Girls walked along, while the boys laughed it off and waited for the next bus. now let us take a deeper look at this small incident. The fact that the boy shouted out filled me with anger. BUt the girl\'s reply was very amusing. Does this amount to eve-teasing? Teasing.Yes. But eve-teasing? not necesarrily! She shot back in the same vein. End result : Noone\'s angry. No-one\'s feeling humiliated. Everyone just forgets it and gets back to normal life. The point i\'m driving to is this-- don\'t we all get teased sometime or the other? Sometimes in the schools we are teased by other friends. IN office, colleagues pull our legs once in a way. in the house, some relative likes a laugh. In the same manner, when this girl was teased, she didn\'t put her head down and mumble about her gender being used like this. neither did she complain the police (which she could have!). She retorted in exactly the same way he talked to her. Moral of story:Don\'t take the issue so seriously and make so much of talk around it. Fight your way out of the place. I personally know the girl in topic. She was brought up in a cery conservative atmosphere. She doesn\'t know and neither deos she care much about the world. But the way she talked back was not only comical, but also a proud moment. I sincerely felt that all other females need to stand up in a similar fashion. Now looking at it from another angle, was the boy wrong in calling out?? Yes. That he shouldn\'t have done teased her is a valid point.But come on now!!! Where do we not find instances of hooting and name-calling?? At some places even the girls resort to rowdyism. Now can we call that adam-teasing??

[sunkita]

ops, every day some one or ther other are teasing us, why today an old man sitting in his car , was passing very vulgar comments about me,,he was saying waw what a shape, beautiful arms ....

i know my friend was harrassed by her boss and exploited like anything, she was very ecnomical weak , hence we was not able to protest, as the threat of losing her job,,,

now she could not bear the physical harassment any more hence she has resigned,,,

time should come adams should cry that they are teased.

[just 4 u]

Hi all,
Nothing to say more about this topic because i was really impressed by the cracked nuts message it is really good and i am totally in sink with him it is the best way to reverse a humiliation
hats off to that girl and the incident narration was splendid

[The Crackednut]

Miss Sankita, please try to understand what others on this board are trying to convey. You must have had a personal experience and are trying to get it out. I certainly am nott able to find any connection between ur sentences. u say u found a man oggling at u. I find that disgusting myslef. Next ur friend is used by her boss and fearing that she will lose her job if she complains, she quits??? if u read my post at the end of the page, u\'ll understand the point!

[Vamsee]

Wow! Truly, Wow! As I read thru the many messages, which are at once insightful and revealing, I was wondering what the solution might be. I shouldn\'t have bothered. The bus stop \"ujala\" incident was at once funny and profound. Probably, saying the guys shouldn\'t tease is a bit prudish - maybe the girls even feel flattered on hearing some nice comments. The point is, we should take things a bit less seriously. On some thought, doesn\'t this apply to every problem in life? With some humor, I think lots of things in life can be seen in the right perspective. What do you say, girls \'n guys?

[Jess]

I agree with crackednut.We got to ignore all such sort of teasings if it is not very serious. Not only in Hyderabad, we can find it everywhere in the world. When I first landed in London, I thought people here are bit decent on roads compared to Indians, but of late, I come across comments. Why to bother about it when we have much more important things to do? Lets not make it serious. But if it goes serious, the guy should be definitely punished. Parents should encourage their daughters to face the world with courage and not to fear or bother about the minor incidents. At the same time, there should be strict rules and those involved in the eve teasing should be punished/fined.