Last Name

[Igiveadamn]

well...my community has no tradition of a last name....so my so-called "last name" is actually my dad's first name. my son's last name is my first name.

Hey that's interesting, I never knew about this. So then your wife keeps her last name(father's name), after marriage?

[CtrlAltDel]

well...my community has no tradition of a last name....so my so-called "last name" is actually my dad's first name. my son's last name is my first name.

Hey that's interesting, I never knew about this. So then your wife keeps her last name(father's name), after marriage?

no, my first name is her last name

[daisy]

well...my community has no tradition of a last name....so my so-called "last name" is actually my dad's first name. my son's last name is my first name.

Hey that's interesting, I never knew about this. So then your wife keeps her last name(father's name), after marriage?

i guess they take the husbands firstname as their last name.

as far as i know tamilians and kannadigas have this kind of tradition.

[Igiveadamn]

Is it just to prove that they are better than males?

no, it is to prove they are equal. if they tried to force you to accept their family name then it would be to prove they were better. Surely it would be better if either both people had double last names (with the last names in alphabetical order ) or else not bother changing the thing at all?
also, since women are ultimately the ones that nurture and care for the family as a whole (in most cases) shouldnt the family name past down the female side? That way, after divorce, there is no confusing (and possible multiple) change of surname for the children (assuming again they stay with the mother, as is most common)

Well the argument is perfectly fine, if we were used to husbands getting the wives' family names, then so be it. But it's not that case, it's the other way round. And I firmly believe women don't have a need to prove that they are equal, even if they have to prove it..there are many other meaningful ways like HP had said. I'// repeat my question again, why is there a need to alter tradition when you know that it's absolutely harmless and it's ingrained in the soceity for centuries?

[Igiveadamn]

well...my community has no tradition of a last name....so my so-called "last name" is actually my dad's first name. my son's last name is my first name.

Hey that's interesting, I never knew about this. So then your wife keeps her last name(father's name), after marriage?

no, my first name is her last name

That's cool. I saw women have their husbands' name as their middle name, but last name!! Never. Always a student, always...

[lonewolf]

That's cool. I saw women have their husbands' name as their middle name, but last name!! Never. Always a student, always...

Actually thats common with Telugus who have moved to Karnataka or live on the border.



You'll find all kinds of permutations and combinations in India Good exercise for programmers practising iterations with circular queues and/or double linked lists

[Igiveadamn]

:D Good exercise for programmers practising iterations with circular queues and/or double linked lists

Have Mercy!!!!!

[solosynergy]

That's cool. I saw women have their husbands' name as their middle name, but last name!! Never. Always a student, always...

Actually thats common with Telugus who have moved to Karnataka or live on the border.

You'll find all kinds of permutations and combinations in India Good exercise for programmers practising iterations with circular queues and/or double linked lists

linker errror. please pardon us.



registers -> MERCY

[Arti]

i know many working girls who retained their original family name after marriage coz they didnt want to change their passports, certificates etc etc etc....avoiding unnecessary delays, redtape related problems etc.

one option many couples have is to go for a double-barelled surnames...ie both the husband's surname n wife's surname are combined with a 'hyphen' and both of them adopt it.

How many people really do this? I know of real life cases where kids have their mother's and father's last names... but I've not noticed any couple where both adopt both names. My mom's maiden surname is now her middle name... but my dad doesn't have it. I have the option to add my mother's last name as my middle name, but I didn't want a middle name.

Only because its a hassle.



And for that same reason, I'll leave my name as is... I don't believe I have to change my last name to feel like a couple. If it bothers my future hubby so much... I'll ask him to adopt my last name

[marko]

Is it just to prove that they are better than males?

no, it is to prove they are equal. if they tried to force you to accept their family name then it would be to prove they were better. Surely it would be better if either both people had double last names (with the last names in alphabetical order ) or else not bother changing the thing at all?
also, since women are ultimately the ones that nurture and care for the family as a whole (in most cases) shouldnt the family name past down the female side? That way, after divorce, there is no confusing (and possible multiple) change of surname for the children (assuming again they stay with the mother, as is most common)

Well the argument is perfectly fine, if we were used to husbands getting the wives' family names, then so be it. But it's not that case, it's the other way round. And I firmly believe women don't have a need to prove that they are equal, even if they have to prove it..there are many other meaningful ways like HP had said. I'// repeat my question again, why is there a need to alter tradition when you know that it's absolutely harmless and it's ingrained in the soceity for centuries?

I was responding to your statement, which i felt was a little strange. I agree that there is no need for the tradition to be changed, unless one of the parties involved doesn't want to follow it. What the hell is the point in blindly following a tradition that doesn't make a huge amount of sense in the modern world if one of the people who is affected by it doesn't want to?? There are lots of things that are implied by a change of name, ownership being one of them, so to call it harmless misses the point a bit i think.

It really is not too big a deal to anyone i think, nobody is going to throw themselves on front of a train cos they wanted to keep their last name, but at least respect an adults right to decide their own name.

[Dream Girl]

I thought Hyderabad was a home of enlightened open-minded guys, at least from reading some previous posts.

But this particular post has 'Habitual perfectionist' pointing out 'problems' because women refuse to change their names:

Somehow, better sense prevailed and now, she carries both her maiden lastname as well as our family name.

And of course 'Igiveadamn' wants to desperately qualify for an MCP title.

So am I officially a male chauvinist pig now?

Well, when you are born with a name and you have been known by that name for 25 years, it gives you an identity. So, it feels weird when someone calls you by some other surname. However, some women feel confortable about changing their names and some don't (e.g. myself), and it is entirely a personal choice which cannot be condemned. So, I don't see why it should be called 'stubborness and idiotic' on the part of women and they are supposed to 'feel the need to stamp their authority over men' if they refuse to change their names? If men (like Igiveadamn and Habitual perfectionist) feel that it is no big deal, then why don't they change their names/surnames after marriage?

As Bimbette pointed out :

After all, isn't marriage all about letting the person be ?

I have not taken my husband's surname after marriage, my husband had absolutely no problems because we did not even discuss this name-change-stuff and I don't feel that has projected my lack of emotions and commitment towards him. Also, I don't think that my friend who has taken up her husband's surname is old-fashioned because that is entirely her choice. Personally, I love my name and feel that the pairing of my name and surname makes it complete.



I believe to each her own and I suppose Igiveadamn can adopt that philosophy and try to grow up....in any case he is giving too much of a 'damn' for someone else's choice about changing her name - is it time to change his profile name?

[Arti]

As Bimbette pointed out :

After all, isn't marriage all about letting the person be ?

Really?

[ArIe$]

Whats the big deal..any one can have both the names 2gether as well..as long as they rnt as the china wall.ppl would then surely end up askin..where r the rest...lol.

[PaSt_pReSeNt_FuTuRe]

another good option would b 2 go da "karishma" way.. both havin da same last name "kapoor"...no tensionz no probz!



i think addin da husbandz name to ur last name...doesnt really sound tht good.. somethin short n sweet soundz better than havin 3-4 namez one aftr da other for a grl ...



i personally dnt think itz a big deal 2 change ma name...as long as da guy doeznt have a weird sir name like... "ganjawala".."batliwala..." !! (j/k)



well as someone said earlier it basically dependz on one'z personal opinion n choice ...if she wantz 2 change it or not...(dependz on da hubby as well if he wantz her 2 change it or not..! )

[salamehyderabad]

Wat does it matter if my wife had her own last name.... Wat matters is the last name of my children.... aint no problem with her havin her last name....

[PaSt_pReSeNt_FuTuRe]

Wat does it matter if my wife had her own last name.... Wat matters is the last name of my children.... aint no problem with her havin her last name....

hmm...yeah tht soundz pretty logical!

[Truffles]

Just thought this one was apt for the thread..



Double-barrelled

As of January 2005, French children will be able to use the surnames of both parents. This brings France in line with a Council of Europe declaration in 1978 concerning the equality of parents. The decision ends a millennium of patrilineal nomenclature, and will result in double-hyphenated names (many French first names are compounds): Charles-Antoine Dupont and Marie-France Dupond could well have a little daughter named Anne-Sophie Dupont-Dupond. Should she marry Jean-Claude Dubois-Dutoit, however, some names will have to give: quadruple surnames remain out of the question. The legislation is retroactive: children born after September 2nd 1990 can decide to hyphenate their surnames until June 30th 2006, but teenagers will have to obtain parental consent.

[CtrlAltDel]

...and i thot only indian MPs waste their time in the parliament

[Habitual Perfectionist]

...and i thot only indian MPs waste their time in the parliament

Time wasting is a universal hobby of lawmakers.

[Truffles]

I wonder if we need last names in this day and age anyway. In the old days, last names were given to identify peoples cast, profession, the place they were from etc etc. But today it is hardly ever that the children follow their parents trade, or stick to the same place as their folks. So not have just a single name. I mean if identifiaction among several common names is a problem then you could always have a unique name for that particular individual. That way we could have what we wanted instead of being given some name which has been passed down from generations which we may or may not like. Well just a thought anyway..